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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28411116">i'd give it all for you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifthebookdoesntsell/pseuds/ifthebookdoesntsell'>ifthebookdoesntsell</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JulietInConverse/pseuds/JulietInConverse'>JulietInConverse</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonYellowFlowers/pseuds/LemonYellowFlowers'>LemonYellowFlowers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Prom (2020), The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Bikers, Biker!Emma, F/F, Waitress!Alyssa, greenelan - Freeform, they're gay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:28:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>24,369</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28411116</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifthebookdoesntsell/pseuds/ifthebookdoesntsell, https://archiveofourown.org/users/JulietInConverse/pseuds/JulietInConverse, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonYellowFlowers/pseuds/LemonYellowFlowers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Barry here forgot to notify me that some friends are coming into town!” Her mother replies, glaring daggers at her co-owner. </p><p>“I didn’t think you’d go apeshit!” The man snarks back, though he continues to shove pastries into the display by the cash register. </p><p>“Which friends?” Alyssa asks curiously. </p><p>“Narcissus and the gang,” Barry answers flippantly. </p><p>Alyssa stares at him, trying to put the pieces together. </p><p>“You know, Narcissus? Zazz? Genie? Zef? Swan?” He groans. “Has your mother taught you nothing?”</p><p>(Or, the Biker AU that nobody asked for, in which Alyssa is just trying to take her online classes and help at the diner, and a group of bikers, including a very attractive blonde, comes passing through on their way to a festival.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alyssa Greene/Emma Nolan, Barry Glickman/Trent Oliver (minor)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>80</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>147</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. i took a trip while i was gone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>here's a little something that the three of us cooked up (with the help of the prom discord to get the ball rolling!). there's absolutely no inspiration for this fic other than riverdale posters on emma's wall in the broadway production which then turned into emma in a leather jacket, which naturally led to us thinking biker emma. </p><p>we hope y'all enjoy.</p><p>(title from i'd give it all for you by jason robert brown, though we all know the real reason we picked it is because of the bway backwards performance)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alyssa’s days are never very eventful. She’s second to the diner-- only after her own mother-- and she’s responsible for opening up shop every day, which usually leaves her enough time to do some calculus problems for her online college class before the morning rush begins. </p><p>It’s muscle memory by now. She sets the tables from back to front, laying out menus on each spot as she goes, humming softly to herself as the sun begins to rise and the glow spills over onto the booths by the windows. </p><p>She likes the normalcy of it, the way nothing ever really changes in Edgewater. It’s comforting. </p><p>The bell above the door rings, and Alyssa smiles when she hears the telltale footsteps of Barry and Trent. </p><p>“Hello, dear,” Barry sings, gesturing dramatically when the girl turns around to wave. </p><p>Trent rolls his eyes. “Good morning, Alyssa. Has the day been alright so far?”</p><p>Alyssa nods. “I’m just setting up these last few tables and then I’m going to hit my calculus notes for the day.” </p><p>Barry scoffs. “Remind me why you’re taking that?” </p><p>“Because, it’s important to her education,” Alyssa’s mother answers before her daughter can, standing in the doorway that leads from the employee side of the breakfast counter to the backroom and kitchen. “Now, Bartholomew, are you going to help me get everything set for the day, or are you going to keep bothering our only consistent employee until she runs off?” </p><p>“Jesus, woman,” Barry mumbles, winking at Alyssa with the tiniest smirk as he salutes dramatically. “I’m on my way. Would it be alright if I said goodbye to my husband first, or is that too much to ask?” </p><p>“Perhaps too much,” Veronica teases. “Considering the fact that he works about two doors down from us.” </p><p>“That’s quite far,” Both men say at the same time, though Trent does lean down to allow Barry to kiss him on the cheek before he waves everybody farewell. </p><p>“Anon,” he says, bowing jokingly as he heads out the door. </p><p>Veronica rolls her eyes as she watches him go, pulling Barry along towards the kitchen and listing off their to-dos as she goes. Alyssa smiles when she hears him complain. </p><p>Just a day like any other. </p><p>***</p><p>Apparently, it is not a day like any other, at least not with the way her mother and Barry are rushing around the place, trying to make everything spotless. </p><p>“What’s going on?” she asks, looking up from her textbook. They don’t open for another forty-five minutes and yet, the two adults are seemingly preparing for the breakfast rush that rarely comes until even an hour after they turn the sign. </p><p>“Barry here forgot to notify me that some friends are coming into town!” Her mother replies, glaring daggers at her co-owner. </p><p>“I didn’t think you’d go apeshit!” The man snarks back, though he continues to shove pastries into the display by the cash register. </p><p>“Which friends?” Alyssa asks curiously. </p><p>“Narcissus and the gang,” Barry answers flippantly. </p><p>Alyssa stares at him, trying to put the pieces together. </p><p>“You know, Narcissus? Zazz? Genie? Zef? Swan?” He groans. “Has your mother taught you nothing?”</p><p>Alyssa turns to her mother, puzzled.</p><p>“Dee Dee,” Her mother supplies. “Angie and Sheldon. I don’t know those last two, though.” She turns to her friend. “I don’t know why you insist on using those names for them when it’s just us. We all went to high school together!” </p><p>“Makes me sound cool.” Barry says smugly. </p><p>“Okay, Twinkle Toes,” Veronica mocks, turning to her daughter. “That’s what Dee Dee calls him. Behind his back or not.”</p><p>“That was a long time ago!” The man complains. </p><p>Signaled by the bell, the door swings open once more just as Alyssa’s mother is about to argue back. All three turn towards the door. A distinct chill enters the room. </p><p>Alyssa studies the group in the doorway. They look tough, complete with leather jackets and sunglasses, and she’s not quite sure what to think until Barry practically hops over the counter to hug the woman at the front of the pack. </p><p>“Dee Dee!” </p><p>“Hi Twinkle Toes.” The woman replies, her lips twitching around a smile. </p><p>“I told you not to call me that anymore!” He hisses,  both Greene women sharing an amused look. </p><p>“Right, sorry,” Dee Dee answers, not sounding apologetic at all. She pats his stomach. “I would ask how you are, but you seem to be eating well, which means you’re alright.” </p><p>He opens his mouth to reply, but no words come out. </p><p>Alyssa’s eyes widen. She’s never seen him speechless before. She tries not to grin. </p><p>Dee Dee moves past him, and Alyssa watches as Barry exchanges similar greetings with the other two of the older folk, giving hugs and kissing an older blonde woman on the cheek. Her eyes catch on the other two in the group; they look distinctly younger, and Alyssa finds herself growing increasingly intrigued as the girl-- who Alyssa immediately notices has the softest looking curls she's ever seen, though she’d never say such a thing aloud-- shifts in her direction. </p><p>She can feel a gaze on her, despite the sunglasses, and it makes her hot all over until-- </p><p>“And you must be Alyssa.” Dee Dee interrupts her thoughts. “I met you once! You were much smaller than you are now though.” </p><p>“I remember,” Alyssa says cheerfully. “You came to my seventh birthday party. I still have that pair of sunglasses you gave me.” She does her best to smile, a blush still on her cheeks as her eyes flit back over to the girl. The blonde runs a hand through her hair, which does absolutely nothing to change her look, and Alyssa finds herself entranced by the movement. </p><p>“You’ve grown so much. You must be in college by now!”</p><p>“Online classes,” the girl replies, gesturing to her textbook. “Have to help my mom and Barry around this place.” Dee Dee nods thoughtfully, looking over towards where the two adults are moving around. She can tell they want to rush, even if they're putting effort into moving slowly.</p><p>“That’s good of you,” the older woman replies, and then her attention has already turned back to her friends. </p><p>Alyssa knows she can be like this. She snorts at the name Narcissus. She briefly wonders who gave it to her; she doesn't know a lot about the group, but she remembers that you have to <em> earn your name</em>. </p><p>Alyssa doesn't dare ask if Dee Dee is aware of what it actually means. </p><p>She allows a smile to play on her lips for a few more moments before she’s sucked back into her calculus notes. They’re due Thursday, and if she doesn’t get them done now, she won't. At the rate it seems that Dee Dee and her gang are going, she’ll be waiting their table and entertaining them for the next few hours. </p><p>Her eyes flit back over to the pretty blonde who’s shifting from foot to foot as she talks with the other guy who seems to be about her age.</p><p>They seem comfortable with each other, and, idly, she wonders if they’re a couple. </p><p>Not that it’s any of her business or would matter to her in the slightest if that were the case. </p><p>She catches the back of her pen between her teeth as she stares, her eyes wandering over the creases in the jacket, to the gap in her denim button up where she’s since hooked her sunglasses, and down to where she’s wringing her hands. </p><p>Alyssa’s heart jumps and lodges in her throat when the blonde laughs at something the boy said, catching her tongue between her teeth as she does.</p><p>She chews on the cap harder, tracing the callouses she can see from afar since her glasses are on the bridge of her nose. Quietly, she wonders how much this girl has worked on her bike, if it’s a two seater-- </p><p>“Alyssa!” </p><p>The cap of Alyssa’s pen snaps between her teeth.</p><p>
  <em> Shit.</em>
</p><p>She whips her head around and comes face to face with Shelby. </p><p>“What?” Alyssa snaps, perhaps a bit too harshly.</p><p>“Nothing. Calm down,” Shelby replies. “I was just saying, don’t tell your mom I was late, okay? Kaylee is a terrible influence.” She winks. </p><p>Alyssa pretends to gag. She places her pen down, grimacing at the cap which is now split in two. </p><p>“What made you do that?” Shelby asks curiously, observing as her friend’s gaze flickers back over to the biker she had been staring at. She whistles. “Damn! I assume the girl, right?” </p><p>Alyssa nods in reply before she can think better of it. </p><p>“I can’t blame you. If I wasn’t in a committed relationship, I’d hit that!” </p><p>“Shelby!” Alyssa hisses, swatting the other girl as a brighter blush forms on her cheeks. </p><p>Shelby’s eyes widen even further. “Seems as though somebody has had a similar thought,” she teases. “You think Hot Pants over there is cute?” </p><p>“I’m pretty sure her biker name is Swan,” Alyssa grumbles. </p><p>Both girls look back over at the blonde and her companion, studying as she shucks her jacket and ties it around her waist. Shelby snickers when Alyssa makes a strangled noise in the back of her throat. The girl doesn’t even have the energy to smack her friend again as she watches Swan roll up the sleeves of her shirt seemingly without thinking, then bend her fingers back to crack her knuckles.</p><p>Alyssa swallows, her foot bouncing as she tries to stop the heated flush that’s now spread down her neck. Suddenly, the black t-shirt that she normally claims is too thin feels itchy and sweaty. </p><p>“I think you and I can both agree that they should change it, though,” Shelby teases. “Alyssa’s Dream Girl has a nice ring to it.” Alyssa tries to send her a glare, but her coworker shows no sign of stopping. “Oh! Or maybe just <em> Wet Dream?” </em></p><p>“Shut the fuck up!” Alyssa grabs her textbook and spins around to hit the other girl’s shoulder with it.</p><p>“Girls?” Barry asks, eyes narrowing playfully at the two employees. “What’s going on here?” </p><p>“Nothing!” Shelby and Alyssa reply in unison. </p><p>The man’s eyes flit back to his co-owner’s daughter, obviously studying the blush on her cheeks. He’d recognize that look anywhere. </p><p>“Shelby,” he begins. “Get in the kitchen and help Mrs. Greene, would you?” He leaves no room for argument. </p><p>The girl nods without another word and scampers off, throwing a questioning smile at her boss. He winks in reply. </p><p>The message is clear: nothing wrong with a little messing from Uncle Barry. </p><p>Alyssa misses the entire exchange, her gaze having drifted back over to Swan. </p><p>“And Alyssa?” He snaps his fingers to get her attention. “You’re going to help me wait tables. You can do the orders for the younger folk.” </p><p>Attempting to protest, she stands, her textbook clattering to the floor. She feels the same set of eyes on her from before. Her heart skips a beat. </p><p>“I think I’d rather help my mom in the kitchen,” she tries to say. “This is a large group—“ </p><p>“Which means we need a capable wait staff.” He smiles down at her, pretending to be oblivious to the way she had been staring at the biker girl across the restaurant. “Dee Dee can be a bit judgmental. Will you do this for me?” </p><p>Alyssa’s eyes flicker between the woman in question, the kitchen, and the pretty blonde once more. </p><p>Barry’s eyes widen until they’re pleading. In another life, he could have been an actor. </p><p>The girl sighs. “Fine. Should we tell them to get seated?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so. what did you think? it's just the first chap, but if you enjoyed, consider dropping us a comment/kudo down below. it would make us smile! </p><p>you can find us all three of us in the prom discord and jess and ellis on tumblr @julietinchucks and @ifthebookdoesntsell!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. i stopped at lots of diners</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“So, how long are you going to be around town?” Barry asks as he leads his friends and their companions to the two best booths in the restaurant. </p><p>“Five or seven days, depending on how we’re feeling,” Sheldon supplies when Dee Dee looks to him for an answer. “We need to leave enough time to roll into Philadelphia on the right day, but we wanted to make our big stop here.” </p><p>“Plenty of time to catch up,” the older woman says, reaching over to pat Barry on the shoulder. He smiles at her, clearly relieved and excited. </p><p>It’s a sweet interaction, and Alyssa watches on fondly until she’s being gestured at to bring the menus over. </p><p>“This is Alyssa,” he introduces to the few that don’t know. “She’ll be helping y’all out today. She’s Veronica’s kid.” </p><p>(Or, the gang's first breakfast at the diner.)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter two! we're just laying the groundwork, but we hope that y'all enjoy. highly recommend listening to the song from the title before or after you've read; maybe it'll give you some perspective on where we're headed :)</p><p>(chap title from i'd give it all for you by jason robert brown)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So, how long are you going to be around town?” Barry asks as he leads his friends and their companions to the two best booths in the restaurant. </p><p>“Five or seven days, depending on how we’re feeling,” Sheldon supplies when Dee Dee looks to him for an answer. “We need to leave enough time to roll into Philadelphia on the right day, but we wanted to make our big stop here.” </p><p>“Plenty of time to catch up,” the older woman says, reaching over to pat Barry on the shoulder. He smiles at her, clearly relieved and excited. </p><p>It’s a sweet interaction, and Alyssa watches on fondly until she’s being gestured at to bring the menus over. </p><p>“This is Alyssa,” he introduces to the few that don’t know. “She’ll be helping y’all out today. She’s Veronica’s kid.” </p><p>Quickly, the adults all reach out their hands to shake. She memorizes their names quickly, recollections of her childhood coming back as Sheldon and Angie wave at her. </p><p><em> Genie and Zazz, </em> she reminds herself. </p><p>Her gaze turns to the younger counterparts of the group, and once again, Alyssa finds her breath suddenly lost at the sight of Swan. Now that they’re closer, she’s able to study her eyes, which seem to be changing with every passing second. They hold wisdom clearly forged from pain, an honesty that makes Alyssa feel guilty for ever telling a lie. There’s a kindness, too, as if this girl could have let the world destroy her but instead let it teach her, allowed it to help her grow. </p><p>Alyssa is entranced to say the least. </p><p>The light shifts in the room, and suddenly, there’s an emerald glow to the gaze that’s trained on her that makes her heart pick up its pace. She tries to remember what to say, tries to think if there were any specials on the menu or— </p><p>“This is Emma,” Dee Dee interrupts, lips twitching. “It seems you two are getting acquainted in every way but the verbal.” </p><p>Angie smacks her shoulder. It seems, however, that neither girl heard the snide remark. </p><p>“I’m Emma,” the blonde says again, sticking out her hand. </p><p>“Nobody calls you Emma,” the boy cuts in dumbly, but he’s quickly silenced as the boot of somebody’s shoe comes into contact with his shin. He hisses, glaring across the table. “Zazz! What the fuck?”</p><p>Angie narrows her eyes at him, flickering her gaze over to the two girls in a way that makes him understand. </p><p>
  <em> Shut up and let them do their thing.  </em>
</p><p>Alyssa reaches her hand forward in return, grasping it to shake. </p><p>Emma’s hand is soft and strong, the rough pads of her fingers gently pressing against Alyssa’s comparably delicate hand in a sweet yet firm grip. Alyssa feels a shiver run up her spine at the sensation of Emma’s thumb lightly brushing across the base of her own. Her hand is slender but calloused, and it’s obvious just how capable her hands must be when put to labour. </p><p>Alyssa’s mind started to wander, curiously considering what else they might be good at, what kind of skills Emma could have as far as— </p><p>“I think we might want to get the orders cooking before the actual crowd starts to file in,” Barry nudges gently. “Your mom said the hash browns are made fresh. Wouldn’t want the potatoes to get soggy.” </p><p>“Right! Sorry,” Alyssa manages, tugging her hand away quickly as if she’s been burned. “What can I get for all of you?”</p><p>It’s a blur from there. Dee Dee orders more pancakes than anybody at the table thinks she should eat, plus a cup of coffee with explicit instructions to put in five sugars, and despite Barry’s protests, which ends in <em> are you my doctor, Twinkle Toes?, </em>Alyssa writes down the order without argument. The rest of the group seemed to order something similar, though there’s a variation between bacon, ham, and sausage that winds up in the table agreeing to order a platter of all things to share. </p><p>“I think I know what else Emma would want to eat,” Zef mumbles under his breath at one point, causing another round of elbows into his ribs and boot-toes on his shins. </p><p>Alyssa blushes at the comment but doesn’t think much of it. It’s not like Emma actually feels that way. Families just tease. That’s what they’re made to do. </p><p>And as cheesy as it sounds, Alyssa could tell that this little group is family from the moment she laid eyes on them, the same way that everyone at the diner-- her mom, Trent, Barry, Shelby, and the few other part timers they have around-- is hers. </p><p>She can feel Emma looking at her again. It makes her irrationally nervous. It’s not like she’s dressed up or anything-- there’s barely anybody in Edgewater that she doesn’t know by first and last name, so she never thought to do more than simple makeup-- and she feels oddly warm under hazel eyes. </p><p>This is a totally new feeling. And it’s only been a few minutes of even knowing the girl’s real name. </p><p>For so long, the only sources of validation she’s had are her schoolwork and her mother. Alyssa doesn’t know what it’s like to feel pretty, not really. But with Emma, as crazy and early as it sounds, she does. </p><p>It’s frightening beyond compare, that feeling of being aware of something new, something <em> strange, </em> and being so eager for it to happen despite not knowing the outcome-- or the consequences. </p><p>Emma is just passing through. She’s absolutely the wrong girl to get a crush on. And yet, despite the fragility of her own heart, despite the absolutely terrifying knowledge that people leave Edgewater and don’t come back, Alyssa finds herself wondering what exactly is so awful about the blush on her cheeks and the way she feels really <em> seen </em> for the first time because of Emma. </p><p>She feels alive-- real-- which isn’t something that she’s ever been able to identify in herself before. She feels different. </p><p>Good different. </p><p>It’s not who she is. Alyssa Greene doesn’t believe in love at first sight. She believes in numbers and facts and climbing down from the cliff, not falling. </p><p>But now, somehow, the world, the pressure, the thoughts of being anywhere else, have melted away. Emma looks at her, eyes alight with mischief, and an understanding seems to already sit between them, one that makes Alyssa long to know what it is to fall without even a care if she ever hits the bottom. </p><p>This is ridiculous. </p><p>She looks away before she can think anything else that she herself an hour ago would think to be absolute madness. </p><p>People leave Edgewater. They don’t come back. There’s a reason her mother had to sell half the restaurant to a high school friend and his husband. There’s a reason why she’s taking online classes and not off at some school like the rest of her peers. </p><p>There’s a reason her life isn’t glamorous, why prom night was spent waiting tables and not finding somebody else lonely enough to give dancing with her a try. </p><p>There’s a reason-- </p><p>Alyssa pulls herself from her thoughts before she can drown in them any further. </p><p>“I’ll get all of this to the kitchen,” she manages to say, waving her notebook around. </p><p>Everybody looks at her curiously, but she waves them off. Barry tries to catch her arm, but she puts as much of a fake pep into her step as she can, rounding into the kitchen and shoving the long ticket down the line to her mother and Shelby before she crosses into the office, shuts the door, and sinks into the rolling chair to catch her breath. </p><p>This is fucking ridiculous. </p><p>***</p><p>Alyssa keeps her distance the rest of the meal. </p><p>She waits on the group when necessary, pouring water or clearing plates, but she barely allows herself to glance at anybody at the table and least of all Emma. It’s not her place to get a crush on a girl who’s never going to really like her in return, who has her last name <em> Nolan </em> printed onto the back of her jacket, a signifier, if anything, to Alyssa that she really <em> belongs </em> to something. </p><p>Alyssa knows she’s never belonged. </p><p>No use in trying to woo some girl who likely has a taste for adventure, who looks for the next thrill, who has clearly learned to take her pain and craft it into something gorgeous. </p><p>Instead, she stares from afar, eating one of the croissants from the display absently as she tries to finish her calculus problems. They’re just hard enough to take her mind off of the way her heart seems to have a mind of its own, the way it’s calling for her to go back over and at least attempt to get Emma’s number or give her own away. </p><p>She shakes her head, reading over the problem once more. It’s asking for the first and second derivative-- </p><p>“Alyssa?” </p><p>
  <em> Fuck. Her voice--  </em>
</p><p>Alyssa looks up, attempting to close her pen so it doesn’t run out of ink before she remembers that the cap is split in two and in the trash. </p><p>“Yes?” </p><p>Emma wrings her hands nervously once more, and Alyssa’s gaze snaps to them before she does her best to meet hazel eyes once more. </p><p>“We’re heading out now,” she says, quieter. “We’ll probably be back tomorrow for breakfast, but I wanted to… wanted to give you a tip? I know that me and the gang can be a lot.” </p><p>She digs some cash out of the inside pocket of her jacket, taking a step forward to hand it to her. </p><p>
  <em> Twenty-five dollars.  </em>
</p><p>“This is a lot, Emma,” Alyssa tries to say. “I can’t accept.”</p><p>“Think of it as a thank you, then,” Emma says, grinning at her. </p><p>Alyssa attempts to not be charmed. </p><p>She fails epically when Emma takes her hand and places the bills into it, folding her fingers back over it. </p><p>“Take it. Buy yourself some new pens,” she teases. </p><p>Alyssa opens her mouth, lighting up at the joke-- </p><p>“Swan!” Angie calls. “Let’s get going.”</p><p>Emma turns back to her, shrugging in disappointment. She pulls her hand back from where she was still holding the other girl’s. </p><p>“You heard Zazz. I should roll out.” </p><p>Alyssa nods dumbly. </p><p>“See you tomorrow?”</p><p>“Definitely.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so. what did you think? if you enjoyed, considering dropping us a comment/kudo down below. it would make us smile :) </p><p>as always, you can find us in the prom discord, and jess and ellis @julietinchucks and @ifthebookdoesntsell on tumblr.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. i am safer alone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa is acutely aware that she’s never loved somebody, or, at least, never been consciously aware of it. Sure, she loves her mother and Barry and Trent, but, more accurately, Alyssa Greene has never been in love, deeply, irrevocably. </p><p>Love at first sight is for suckers, though. She’s always thought so. </p><p>But that was before Emma.</p><p>Her mother used to describe love to her in the simplest of terms: knowing how to hurt somebody, and not doing that thing, having the knowledge of how to mortally wound but locking that information away in a safe where nobody knows the code. </p><p>But now, it seems that Veronica has moved on from such things. And Alyssa is unsure if that’s because of the namesake of the diner, or if the urge to fall in love simply dwindles with age, with experience. </p><p>Maybe the thirst for a companion is naïve. </p><p>(Or, Alyssa makes a decision.)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>back at y'all for chapter three! happy new year/new year's eve! we hope you enjoy. </p><p>(chapter title from i'd give it all for you by jrb)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rest of the day passes without event, though Alyssa is sure that some of that has to do with the fact that she’s still slightly lost in her thoughts about Emma. The twenty-five dollars is tucked safely into her wallet, and as she serves customers for the rest of the day-- though it’s mostly stragglers after the regular breakfast crowd-- she wonders what she should do with it. </p><p>The rational part of her says to save it. </p><p>The irrational is telling her to do exactly as Emma said and buy herself a new set of pens. </p><p>Ultimately, she decides she can always grab more from home, and makes a note to put the cash away in her desk later on. </p><p>Last service is less than an hour away, and when she doesn’t see anybody pulling into the parking lot anymore, Alyssa takes up her position at the breakfast counter once more, takes a few moments to attempt more calculus before she shuts the book none too gently and allows her mind to wander. </p><p>Of course, it all comes back to Emma. She wonders if the girl was just being nice, if maybe she read it all wrong, but then she remembers the electricity she felt when their hands touched, how it was enough to make the hair on the back of her neck stand at attention. She wonders where the blonde is from-- she can’t be any older than Alyssa-- and why she isn’t tucked into bed safely at home still living with her parents or in some dorm room looking to get a degree. </p><p>She supposes everybody has their own story. </p><p>Already, Alyssa is curious about Emma’s. Perhaps too curious for somebody she just met. </p><p>Still, there’s that magnetism about the girl, something that makes Alyssa both worry for her own heart and wonder if it's exactly what she needs to know what it is to truly be alive. </p><p>Alyssa is acutely aware that she’s never loved somebody, or, at least, never been consciously aware of it. Sure, she loves her mother and Barry and Trent, but, more accurately, Alyssa Greene has never been <em> in </em> love, deeply, irrevocably. </p><p>Love at first sight is for suckers, though. She’s always thought so. </p><p>But that was before Emma.</p><p>Her mother used to describe love to her in the simplest of terms: knowing how to hurt somebody, and not doing <em> that thing, </em>having the knowledge of how to mortally wound but locking that information away in a safe where nobody knows the code. </p><p>But now, it seems that Veronica has moved on from such things. And Alyssa is unsure if that’s because of the namesake of the diner, or if the urge to fall in love simply dwindles with age, with experience. </p><p>Maybe the thirst for a companion is naïve. </p><p>Alyssa is anything but naïve, though. She <em> wants </em> to be anything but. </p><p>And yet, Emma, with her swagger and ability to make a girl who’s never <em> ever </em> been at a loss for words speechless, makes Alyssa wish she were innocent enough to actually believe she’s the kind of girl worth staying for, worth giving up a whole sort of life for.  </p><p>Emma seems adventurous. That seems like her paradise: the search, the wind in her hair and her foot on the gas. </p><p>Alyssa stays put. It’s easier that way. </p><p>When it’s all said and done, maybe they aren’t made for each other. Whatever’s between them will fizzle out with time. It’s early. There’s time to stop this crush— these feelings— in their tracks. </p><p>Perhaps they’re meant for another life, and in this one, she and Emma are meant to just cross for a few days, meant to be that <em> what if, </em> that <em> almost.  </em></p><p>
  <em> Yes. That must be it.  </em>
</p><p>She makes a decision in this moment; she’ll keep her distance from Emma, wait for her to go, and she’ll move on. </p><p>Greene women are good at moving on. </p><p>***</p><p>“Good morning, Mr. Glickman, Mrs. Greene!” Mayor Hawkins’ voice booms through the diner. </p><p>“Good morning, Mayor,” the two chorus back without thought. He smiles, sitting down at his usual spot at the breakfast counter and waving at Alyssa who’s at the end of the counter pouring several cups of juice and water for her table. </p><p>Coincidentally-- though she’s pretty sure that Barry and Shelby set her up-- she’s waiting on the bikers’ table again. </p><p>All morning, she’s been doing her best not to look at Emma. </p><p>She takes the orders staring down at her notepad, doesn’t even glance up as she senses a thousand watt smile directed towards her. She moves on to the next customer, tries to ignore the confusion radiating off of the table in waves when she turns on her heel back towards the register. </p><p>Her heart is in her throat, begging her to speak to Emma, to at least murmur <em>good</em> <em>morning</em>, but she knows it would be unwise. Her thoughts have been filled with the girl and nothing else for the past night, and she knows that the little bit of self control she’s grasping to, the little voice that’s telling her Emma is going to ride out of town in just a few day’s time never to be seen again, will relinquish its hold on her the minute they really look at each other again. </p><p>Their spark is undeniable. </p><p>Alyssa hasn’t been known to bend to the laws of nature, though. </p><p>So, she resists, putting a pep in her step as she heads over to the mayor. </p><p>“Hello, sir,” she greets, adding cheer to her voice. “Your usual?” </p><p>“Yes, please. Thank you, Alyssa.” She nods, ready to hand off the order through the window, but the man stops her. “Dear? Who’s that group over there?” </p><p>He points to the bikers. Alyssa focuses on the back of Zazz’s head. </p><p>“Those are my mom and Barry’s friends,” she supplies. “They went to high school together. Angie, Sheldon, Dee Dee are the adults.” She points with her pen. </p><p>“And the other two?” he asks, looking at her curiously. </p><p>Alyssa blushes. “Zef is the boy. Well, Greg is his real name.” </p><p>Hawkins doesn’t push, watching her in puzzlement as she struggles to continue. </p><p>Swallowing hard, her gaze falls on Emma. She observes as hazel eyes light up with laughter at something Dee Dee says, hand waving ecstatically as she joins in on the joke. Her glasses slide down the bridge of her nose, and Alyssa’s mind wanders to a quiet moment that only exists in her head where she could push them back up to sit comfortably on the other girl’s face. </p><p>Blush spreads down her neck once more. This is getting out of hand. She’s known her for two days, but somehow it feels like longer—</p><p>
  <em>Get it together, Greene. </em>
</p><p>It’s just a silly little crush. </p><p>“That’s Emma,” she breathes out quickly. “Swan, if you want her biker name.” </p><p>“Are you alright?” Hawkins asks, reaching for her arm. </p><p>Alyssa’s eyes dart back to Emma once more before she tears herself back into reality. </p><p>“Yes. Just fine,” she assures. “There’s just a lot on my mind.” </p><p>The mayor nods in understanding, smiling at her. “Alright.” He doesn’t push, though his eyes are kind, searching. “You’re the brightest of us, Alyssa,” he compliments. “We all know that. But that doesn’t mean you have to be strong all the time. I’m here for you.” His eyes light up with humor. “It’s kind of my job.” </p><p>“Thank you, sir,” she answers. “I’ll keep that in mind.” </p><p>“Of course.” He claps his hands together. “I shouldn’t keep you, though. You’re clearly quite busy.” He wiggles his eyebrows teasingly in the direction of the bikers’ table. </p><p>Alyssa reddens further. “Not really,” she stammers out. “But I should probably clear table five.” </p><p>“Go on, then,” Mayor Hawkins encourages. “It’s good to see you.” </p><p>“Good to see you too, Mr. Mayor.” </p><p>***</p><p>Alyssa is cleaning the counter when the bell above the door dings to notify her of a new customer. </p><p>“Welcome to Andrew’s Diner,” she recites automatically. “I’ll be with you in one moment.”</p><p>“Who’s Andrew?” </p><p>Alyssa freezes. Nobody has asked her that in years. They know better; so unless somebody is trying to purposefully antagonize her— </p><p>The realization shoots through her like electricity. Her eyes flicker up quickly. </p><p>It’s Emma. She’s dressed the same as this morning, sporting a flannel with her leather jacket over it and tight jeans that force Alyssa to quell any ungodly thoughts. Her hands are shoved into her pockets, and her eyes are nervous. </p><p>Alyssa finds herself drowning in them once more. </p><p>“You know what? Nevermind,” the girl says sheepishly, able to tell it’s a rough spot for Alyssa. </p><p>Alyssa continues to stare forward. </p><p>It’s afternoon. Emma doesn’t come in at this time. She peeks around, checking to see if Greg or Angie is with her. They aren’t. </p><p>
  <em>Fuck— </em>
</p><p>“Alyssa?” </p><p>She snaps to attention. </p><p>“Sorry!” She blushes profusely. “What can I do for you?” </p><p>“I was hoping I could get something warm to drink,” Emma answers, lips twitching. “Turns out that taking the bike out when it’s windy can make you a bit cold.” </p><p>Alyssa’s heart speeds at the sight of the girl holding in a smile. She bites her lip to stop her own from spreading across her face. </p><p>“That would only make sense,” she teases. “I’d think somebody as smart as you would realize that before you went out.” </p><p>“Or maybe I just wanted an excuse to see you,” Emma flirts, leaning on the counter. Her smile dims a little. “You were acting kind of off this morning. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” </p><p>Alyssa’s eyes widen. </p><p>She nods quickly. “I’m alright,” she replies. “I just have a lot of schoolwork.” It’s an easy excuse, the same one she gave to Hawkins. She contemplates for a moment before she makes a decision, lifting up the partition on the counter that allows for entrance and exit of employees. “Would you like to come back here?” she asks before she can think of all the reasons why she shouldn’t invite Emma to come any closer. “It’s just me working.” </p><p>Emma nods, following around until she’s on the employee's end, and Alyssa lets the door drop. Quickly, she realizes what she’s done, and there’s no going back. Striding over to the coffee machine to put some distance between them, she begins to pour some milk— reduced lactose, she has the note from this morning and last— frothing it before she remembers that she has to grind the coffee beans. </p><p>Emma has wandered steadily closer, and Alyssa is acutely aware of such fact, her hands shaking on the cup as she places it down. She turns, reaching to turn on the machine when she almost comes face to face with the girl. </p><p>She looks down to her right; Emma is leaning against the counter, looking effortlessly gorgeous as she studies her. The blush is evident on her cheeks, Alyssa knows that, but she tries to keep working. </p><p>The faster this is done, the faster she can— </p><p>“‘Lys?” </p><p>Her heart stops at the nickname. Her hands tremble. She refuses to look up, blood roaring in her ears as she packs the grounds down. </p><p>“Alyssa?” </p><p>
  <em>It’s just a crush. It’s just— </em>
</p><p>A hand touches her wrist; there’s another gentle one on her back. She quivers under the weight of the softness. </p><p>“Alyssa. Look at me?” </p><p>“Why?” She swallows hard. This isn’t part of the plan. </p><p>The plan is to figure out how to put a stop to her feelings, to learn how to keep them locked in a little box— </p><p>“I just want to know what’s going on.” Emma is so earnest, so <em> good. </em> </p><p>“Nothing is going on,” Alyssa replies. </p><p>“I meant between us.” </p><p>“Nothing can go on between us.” </p><p>Emma sighs, gently guiding Alyssa to put down the materials for her cup of coffee. </p><p>“You know that isn’t what I asked,” she murmurs. “Because whether you like it or not, something <em> is </em> happening.” Her hands falls to the counter with a gentle <em> thud. </em> “Alyssa! Could you just <em> look at me?”  </em></p><p>Alyssa’s head turns before she can control herself. Her mind goes quiet when her eyes meet Emma’s. They’re so curious, so caring, and there’s a small bit of hurt in them too. Softness proceeds any anger though, and, more than anything, they’re seeking to understand. </p><p>Fuck. That look makes Alyssa melt, but at the same time, she just knows it’s safer alone— </p><p>“Emma,” she breathes, heart racing. </p><p>“I’m right here,” the blonde assures, inching slightly closer. “I’ve been riding around the block and back and forth for hours,” she admits, embarrassed. </p><p>“Why?” It’s a stupid question; Alyssa knows that. </p><p>“You know why.” Emma blushes, running a hand through her hair. Alyssa refuses to say anything. “Just answer me this,” the girl says quietly. “Wouldn’t you agree we have a connection?” </p><p>The brunette hesitates. Emma raises an eyebrow. </p><p>“Yes.” </p><p>It’s those damn eyes again. They urge her to tell the truth. </p><p>“Do you like me?” </p><p>“Yes.” There’s a sureness in Alyssa’s voice, one that she didn’t even know existed. </p><p>Her eyes flicker down for a moment, catching sight of Emma’s tongue that’s come out to wet her lips. She swallows hard, her heart growing unruly in her chest. </p><p>And then, before Alyssa can think any further, there’s a hand on her hip, pressing her gently to the counter. She can feel the ghost of a breath on her lips, and part of her wants this, part of her wants to sink into it, to know what it is to be kissed by somebody who knows how, who means it. </p><p>There’s a soft ringing in her ears as her eyes meet Emma’s once more, their noses so close to touching. She almost leans forward, breath caught in her throat, before she remembers— </p><p>“I can’t,” she gasps, forcing herself closer to the counter to maneuver away from Emma.  </p><p>The girl pulls back slightly, hurt more evident now. </p><p>“Can’t or won’t?” </p><p>“That isn’t fair,” Alyssa protests, straightening out her shirt and begging her blush to subside.</p><p>“Just give me a chance,” Emma pleads, reaching for her hand. </p><p>“No,” she answers, suddenly much more angry than she thought she was— or wants to be. “You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to make me like you.” </p><p>The blonde shakes her head in confusion. “I’m not sure I follow.” </p><p>Alyssa feels her eyes suddenly hot and wet. She holds back any tears that threaten to fall. “You don’t get to waltz in here and romance me when you’re going to be off again in a few days! I’ve been fine on my own.” </p><p>“Alyssa—“ </p><p>“Swan,” she replies, icier than she feels. </p><p>“Oh, so it’s like that?” </p><p>Alyssa swallows hard, nodding. “It’s like that.” </p><p>Emma adjusts her glasses, wringing her hands once more. </p><p>“Fine,” she answers sadly. “I’ll go, then. I think I spotted a coffee shop on the way.” </p><p>There are words caught on the inside of Alyssa’s throat, a confession that is begging for an out. She clamps her mouth shut, gripping the edge of the counter like a lifeline. </p><p>“I like you, ‘Lys,” Emma says quietly. “And I’m not a runner. I’m a stayer.” She doesn’t push any further, only leans forward to squeeze the other girl’s shoulder gently. “Think about it. I’m here if you change your mind.” </p><p>With that, the blonde strides away, looking back once to see if Alyssa is watching. She is. </p><p>She waves half-heartedly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” </p><p>Alyssa looks up, tears still threatening to spill from her eyes. </p><p><em> People leave Edgewater. They don’t come back</em>, she reminds herself. </p><p>This is for the best. </p><p><em> Think about it. </em>It’s Emma’s voice this time. </p><p>Alyssa waits for the bell to ring, for the girl in question to leave before she even dares. </p><p>Maybe Emma is right. Maybe she just made the biggest mistake of her life. </p><p>Maybe they could have been more than a what if. </p><p>
  <em> Think about it.  </em>
</p><p>Alyssa isn’t one to normally back down from a decision. Still, she nods to nobody in particular. </p><p>She’ll think about it, even if she knows deep down part of her is still too terrified to even describe.</p><p>
  <em>Think about it. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>...apologies. we promise it'll get better! everything has to happen in due time. feel free to drop us a kudo or voice your anger in the comments. we'd love to hear anything and all your thoughts!</p><p>be safe out there. </p><p>as always, you can find the three of us in the prom discord if ya wanna chat and jess and ellis on tumblr @julietinchucks and @ifthebookdoesntsell.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. there's something between us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa all but forces Shelby to take the bikers’ table the next morning when they arrive right at opening. She turns away from the door when she hears the telltale sound of their boots on the carpet, busying herself by organizing the packs of tea on the rack. </p><p>“Hey Alyssa,” several of the bikers call, and she waits to see if Emma will greet her too. </p><p>Her heart stutters in the silence, and, finally, her curiosity gets the better of her. She looks over her shoulder, irrationally crest-fallen when she sees that the blonde isn’t part of the breakfast crowd this morning. </p><p>Emma said she would see her tomorrow. </p><p>There’s still the afternoon, but Alyssa already feels a chill spreading through her. She drove the girl off, somebody who was actually interested in her, who really liked her-- </p><p>(Or, Alyssa knows she made a mistake.)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>happy new year, everybody! here's to hoping this year starts off right; we hope everybody had a safe and fun time last night (or two nights ago, depending on where you are!). also, we hope this makes up for the bit of angst that went on last chap. we hope you enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alyssa all but forces Shelby to take the bikers’ table the next morning when they arrive right at opening. She turns away from the door when she hears the telltale sound of their boots on the carpet, busying herself by organizing the packs of tea on the rack. </p><p>“Hey Alyssa,” several of the bikers call, and she waits to see if Emma will greet her too. </p><p>Her heart stutters in the silence, and, finally, her curiosity gets the better of her. She looks over her shoulder, irrationally crest-fallen when she sees that the blonde isn’t part of the breakfast crowd this morning. </p><p>Emma said she would see her tomorrow. </p><p>There’s still the afternoon, but Alyssa already feels a chill spreading through her. She drove the girl off, somebody who was actually interested in her, who really liked her-- </p><p>“Alyssa,” Barry nudges gently. “Are you alright?” </p><p>He can tell pretty obviously that she isn’t, Alyssa knows that, but she’s grateful for him for not pushing. </p><p>“Yeah,” she answers, sighing. “I just think I fucked up real bad, Barry.” She opens her mouth to apologize for cursing. </p><p>He puts a hand up. “I don’t mind. Just don’t tell your mother.” He winks, reaching his hand out. “Come on. We can go talk in my office. Does it by any chance have anything to do with our missing breakfast customer?” </p><p>She nods, following until he gestures for her to sit in one of the empty chairs and shuts the office door.</p><p>“We almost kissed yesterday,” she blurts out, unsure why she’s suddenly being so honest. </p><p>Barry’s eyes grow wide as he sits down. “Almost?” </p><p>Alyssa nods, gnawing on her bottom lip. “And then--” </p><p>“And then?”</p><p>She swallows hard, looking at the wall beside the man’s head. “I sort of… rejected her.” </p><p>“Oh dear Patti Lupone,” Barry mumbles under his breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Why on Earth would you do that, honey?”</p><p>Alyssa reddens. “I don’t know! She’s leaving in a few days.” </p><p>He stares her down. Damn him for knowing her so well. </p><p>“People leave Edgewater,” she answers, more truthful now. “They leave, and they don’t come back.” </p><p>“Not everybody’s like that,” Barry reminds. “I stayed, didn’t I? Trent? Not everybody’s like--” </p><p>“She said she’s not a runner. That she’s a stayer,” Alyssa interrupts. “And I still told her no. And now she’s not coming to breakfast even though she said she’d see me today and--”</p><p>“Oh, so we’re in deep, then,” the older man says, not even phrasing it as a question. </p><p>Nodding, Alyssa sinks into her seat. “You could say that.” </p><p>She is in deep. She knows that. Every thought was of Emma last night, what it would mean if she just gave her a chance. Still, there’s the voice of doubt, the one that sounds suspiciously like her mother, that’s telling her that it’s much easier to guard her heart earlier than be hurt later. </p><p>“If you like her, then go for it, kiddo!” Barry urges. “Give her a chance.”</p><p>“That’s what she asked of me yesterday,” Alyssa admits, scrubbing at her face with her hands. “I’m still thinking about it. I don’t want us to hurt each other.”</p><p>Barry’s gaze softens. “That’s part of falling for somebody, dear.” </p><p>Alyssa’s gaze snaps back to him. </p><p>
  <em> Is she falling?  </em>
</p><p>He seems sure of it. Alyssa contemplates, suddenly unable to keep her pulse steady. It’s terrifying. The room feels small as she does her best to think, to pinpoint the exact moment that she stumbled off the cliff in the hopes that Emma would swoop in and catch her. </p><p>She can’t. All she knows is the moment she laid eyes on the blonde, the moment they first spoke, there’s been a crushingly light weight on her chest, one that makes her feel secure in herself for the very first time. She doesn’t know how to voice this, doesn’t know exactly what this feeling is— </p><p>Barry reaches over to pat her knee, attempting to ground her in reality. </p><p>“Hey. Everybody goes through this. You think Trent and I didn’t? I did everything I could to hate his <em> guts, </em>just so I wouldn’t have to face that I liked him.” Her friend shrugs. “But he said the same thing Emma said to you. All he wanted was a chance.” </p><p>“And you gave him one,” Alyssa murmurs, voice colored with awe. </p><p>“That I did,” Barry agrees. “Just give her a chance, Alyssa. She seems good for you. I’ve never seen you like this.” </p><p>She meets his eyes. They’re encouraging, sweet. She gets up to hug him. He kisses the top of her head. </p><p>“Think about it,” he whispers to her. </p><p><em> Think about it. </em>It’s now two voices that are urging her to do so-- </p><p>There’s a bang in the kitchen that breaks the moment. He pats her back one last time before he forces them both up.</p><p>“I better see what that is before your mother--”</p><p>“<em>Bartholomew! Did you put away the pans wrong?!”  </em></p><p>He smiles, clearly unbothered and amused. “Before that happens.” He reaches for the door handle before he turns back to her for a moment. “Take a minute to collect yourself before you go back out on the floor.” He wiggles his eyebrows at her. “Five more minutes to think about your dream girl.” </p><p>Alyssa cracks a smile. “Thank you, Barry.” </p><p>“Of course,” he replies, saluting dramatically. “Anytime, my dear. Anytime.” </p><p>***</p><p>Last service couldn’t come any slower than it is. All day, Alyssa has been contemplating what Barry said, doing her best to still be attentive while waiting tables. </p><p>Finally, it’s only thirty minutes until she can turn the sign, though it seems like it’s going to be a tough bit. The bell tinkles above the door. She looks up. </p><p>“Hi Alyssa!” </p><p>
  <em>Dear God. </em>
</p><p>Exactly the person she doesn’t want to see. Internally, she groans before putting on her best fake smile. </p><p>“Hey Tucker,” she replies. “What can I get for you today?”</p><p>“Your number.” He grins at her in a way that she’s sure is supposed to be charming but is wholly off-putting instead. “That’s all I want from this joint. No food.” </p><p>Alyssa winces. She can imagine that line would work on many other girls in this small town. But not her. Especially not now that every second of the day her thoughts are filled with somebody else. </p><p>“What can I get for you?” she repeats, as if she hadn’t heard him. </p><p>“Oh c’mon,” he urges. “Let me take you out! It could be fun.” </p><p>“Coffee? Juice?” She pulls out her notebook. “Order something on the menu, Tucker.” </p><p>“‘Lys--”</p><p>She fumes at the nickname. It’s not his to use. </p><p>“Don’t call me that,” she snaps. “Either order something or get out. How many times do I have to tell you?”</p><p>He opens his mouth to refuse-- </p><p>“You heard her. Order something or leave.” </p><p>Alyssa feels her shoulders relax as soon as the words hit her ears. </p><p>
  <em>Emma. </em>
</p><p>She hadn’t even heard the bell ring, but she supposes that’s because she’d just been focused on not socking the guy at the counter in the face. </p><p>“Who are you?” he asks dumbly. </p><p>Emma steps to him, rising to her full height. Alyssa watches in awe. Nobody’s ever stood up to Tucker, which is why he comes in almost every week asking for one of the working girl’s numbers. </p><p>“I’m Emma. Just passing through, but at least I know how to treat a woman.” </p><p>Hazel eyes flicker towards her, and Alyssa detects a bit more mischief in them than the biker is letting on to the boy in front of her. </p><p>“Alyssa and I have known each other for a long time,” the boy tries to say. </p><p>Emma raises a hand to silence him. “Order something, or leave, she said.” She pulls her phone out, turning her lock screen towards him. “These are my friends.” Pointing to Alyssa, she quirks an eyebrow. “They’re her friends now, too. I’m sure they wouldn’t appreciate knowing that some guy was harassing her when she was working the floor alone.” </p><p>Tucker gapes, but says no more. He turns to her. </p><p>“I’m sorry, Alyssa. It won’t happen again,” he stammers, rushing toward the door before anybody can say anything else. </p><p>Alyssa watches him go, smiling a little when he gets into his car none too gently and drives off. Emma seems amused as well. </p><p>“Thanks,” the brunette says quickly, the silence between them empty enough that she wants to fill it. “I’ve been trying to tell him off for years.”</p><p>“Not a problem,” the biker replies, shoving her hands into her pockets and leaning against her side of the counter so she and Alyssa are eye to eye. “I’m sorry I didn’t come in this morning. It was my grandmother’s birthday; Zazz made me do a FaceTime call with her.” </p><p>Alyssa bites her lip around a smile, her heart glad that she wasn’t the reason Emma was deterred from breakfast this morning. </p><p>They stare at each other longer, and when Emma narrows her eyes playfully, it makes Alyssa giggle quietly. She tucks some hair behind her ear, looking down as her cheeks grow inevitably flushed once more as they always seem to do around the pretty girl. </p><p>Her heart already feels more settled around Emma than yesterday, still beating heavy and rough in her ears but controlled enough that she’s able to contemplate what this all means. </p><p><em> Just a chance, </em>Barry’s voice says in her ear. </p><p>Just a chance. This feels like taking a chance already, allowing Emma to study her irises without growing embarrassed, keeping the distance between them little as the silence around them grows deafening. </p><p>There’s an intimacy to it, to knowing that no words need to be exchanged as the seconds, the minutes tick by. They learn things about each other; Alyssa apologizes with her eyes for how she acted yesterday, and Emma forgives her without a single syllable. </p><p>For a moment, there’s nothing but the peace between them. For a moment, all is right--</p><p>The alarm on Alyssa’s phone blares, breaking their eye contact. The brunette’s heart starts to beat faster as she scrambles to turn it off and check the time. </p><p><em>7pm. </em> </p><p>“I have to close,” Alyssa apologizes. </p><p>Emma nods, a smile still playing on her lips as she watches the other girl scramble around, turning off appliances and lowering shutters. She catches on, scampering over to the other side of the restaurant to close the ones Alyssa hasn’t gotten to yet. </p><p>They meet in the middle, bumping shoulders and blushing. Their hands touch on the last pulley; Emma looks down at her, easily a few inches taller than Alyssa.</p><p>“Do you want a ride?” Emma asks.</p><p>Alyssa’s eyes widen; she opens her mouth and then closes it-- </p><p>“Not like that!” Emma yelps, clapping a hand over her mouth. “I meant do you want a ride home?”</p><p>“Oh,” Alyssa says, suddenly incapable of keeping a straight face as she starts to laugh. </p><p>Emma joins in, lowering the last shutter. </p><p>“I always take a girl to dinner first, at least” she flirts. “But, still, I can take you home, if you want?” </p><p>Alyssa blushes. “That would be nice. I normally walk.” </p><p>“Just in that?” Emma asks, surprised. She gestures to Alyssa’s jeans and t-shirt. “Don’t you get cold?” </p><p>The waitress shrugs. “Sometimes. I always forget to bring a jacket.” </p><p>By now, they’ve wandered to the entrance. Alyssa grabs her stuff from where she stores it behind the host stand.</p><p>Her brow furrows in confusion when she looks back up and Emma has taken her jacket off. </p><p>“Here, then,” the blonde says, handing it over. “You’ll need it if you’re going to be on the back of my bike.” </p><p>“On the back of your--”</p><p>
  <em> Oh.  </em>
</p><p>Alyssa’s gaze snaps to the bike that’s rested on its kickstand right outside the restaurant. She gapes. </p><p>“Yeah,” Emma answers, amused. “You’ll have to hold on tight, too.” Grinning, she grabs Alyssa’s wrist without thought and pulls her out the door. </p><p>The brunette allows herself to be urged along, warmth spreading through her from where the other girl’s hand is holding her wrist. She shivers a little at the rough, strong parts of the girl’s grip against her skin, and Emma interprets it as her being chilly. </p><p>“Put that on,” she instructs, pointing at the garment in her arms. </p><p>For once, Alyssa doesn’t ask questions, pulling on the jacket, heart stuttering when she’s suddenly enveloped by Emma’s scent. The sleeves are a little too long, so she rolls them up, noticing immediately how soft and pliant the leather is under her hands. </p><p>“It’s my favorite jacket,” Emma tells her quietly, pulling out an extra helmet from under the seat. She looks back at Alyssa, eyes suddenly warm, admiring. “It looks good on you.” </p><p>“Thanks,” she manages. </p><p>“It’s just the truth, ‘Lys.” </p><p>Alyssa bites her lip, blushing as the girl comes closer and helps to fit the helmet onto her head. </p><p>“Is that alright?” Emma murmurs. </p><p>“Yes,” she hums in reply, adjusting it so that it’s not putting too much pressure on one of her ears. </p><p>The girl grins at her, pulling on her own gear with ease. “Alright. Ready to go?” </p><p>Alyssa wants to say no. She’s never rode a motorcycle, nevermind with a girl she has a humongous crush on. Emma’s eyes are earnest, though, and so she just nods, swinging a leg over the back of the bike behind where the blonde has already taken up position. </p><p>“I’ll go slow,” she assures. “But I would still hold on.” </p><p>Alyssa can hear blood roaring in her ears. This is all so much, being so close to Emma, wearing her <em> jacket, </em> wrapping her arms around her waist. It feels like a step. Like a choice-- </p><p>Like she’s taking a chance. </p><p>This is it. </p><p>She hugs Emma’s middle tighter, locking her fingers together.</p><p>The engine revs, and before Alyssa can ask anything about how fast the bike is capable of going, they’re off. </p><p>And they are not going slow. </p><p>“Emma!” Alyssa shrieks, pressing her cheek between the girl’s shoulder blades and squeezing her eyes shut as they zip down the road. </p><p>She hears a rumble of laughter, and she can’t help but smile at that. There’s wind rushing around them, and it feels like they’re in their own bubble, like nothing can touch them, despite the fact that they’re on a vehicle that can likely go over 100 miles an hour. She suddenly understands why Emma-- and by extension all of the girl’s friends-- love this. There’s a freedom to it, knowing that she can go anywhere if there’s gas in the tank and a road in front of her. </p><p>“I’m the next street,” she manages to say into the blonde’s ear even as her heart races beyond anything she’s ever felt before. “The third building.” </p><p>“Alright,” Emma calls back. </p><p>She rounds the corner smoothly, but Alyssa just holds tighter and refuses to open her eyes. </p><p>Finally, they come to a stop. The brunette quivers, still holding onto the girl in front of her. </p><p><em> “Asshole!” </em> Alyssa grumbles. “<em>That was not slow!”  </em></p><p>Emma busts out into renewed laughter. “I’m sorry! We were only going fifty.” </p><p><em>“Only?” </em> Alyssa hisses, shaky as she tries to stand up. </p><p>The girl grins at her. “Maybe I just wanted you to hold on tighter.” </p><p>The comment makes Alyssa roll her eyes even as she flushes, redness creeping down her neck. She pulls the helmet off and swings herself free from the bike, shoving it into Emma’s hands playfully. </p><p>“I’m never getting on this thing again,” she declares. </p><p>“What?” Emma teases. “You didn’t have fun?” </p><p>“A smart girl like you should be able to tell that from the way I didn’t open my eyes the entire time,” Alyssa snarks back jokingly. “Now I’m going to go inside and sit somewhere that <em> doesn’t move.”  </em></p><p>“You do that.” The crow’s feet beside Emma’s eyes crinkle. “Good night, Alyssa.” </p><p>“Good night, Emma.” She waves. “Be safe getting home on that terrible invention.” </p><p>She turns away before the girl can see how widely she’s grinning. </p><p>“Darla isn’t terrible!” Emma calls fake angrily. </p><p>“Good night, Emma!” she says once more. </p><p>***</p><p>Alyssa hops up the stairs, a new pep in her step as she unlocks her door. She goes to reach for her wallet to place it on the front table, instinctively looking in the pocket of her jacket-- </p><p>Wait. </p><p>It isn’t her jacket. It’s Emma’s. She forgot to give it back, or maybe the girl just didn’t remind her on purpose. </p><p>There’s something inside the pocket she’d stuck her hand into. </p><p>Curiously, she pulls it out. </p><p>It’s a piece of paper. </p><p>
  <em>Felt wrong to ask you for your number right after that asshole did. </em>
</p><p>Alyssa smiles to herself, observing the handwriting. It’s slightly slanted to the right, and there are little curls on the end of every word. She reads it over again, flipping it to check if there’s anything on the back—</p><p>
  <em> Here’s my number :)  </em>
</p><p>Below, there are ten, neatly scrawled digits. Contemplating, she pulls her phone out of her back pocket. </p><p>
  <em> Just a chance. Just give her a chance. </em>
</p><p>She puts the number into her contacts before she can think better of it, typing out a simple message. </p><p><b>[Alyssa, 7:32pm]: </b> <em> hi. it’s alyssa.  </em></p><p>An immediate reply. Her heart plays hopscotch inside of her chest. </p><p><b>[Emma, 7:32pm]: </b> <em> hey! just got home safe.  </em></p><p><b>[Alyssa, 7:33pm]: </b> <em> i’m glad.  </em></p><p>Alyssa watches as the three dots move across the screen, leaning against the wall for support. </p><p><b>[Emma, 7:33pm]: </b> <em> can i call you?  </em></p><p>She hesitates. Normally, nights are for herself, but-- </p><p><b>[Alyssa, 7:34pm]: </b> <em> yes </em></p><p>Within seconds, her phone is ringing in her hand. </p><p>She presses the button to answer. </p><p><em>“Hi.” </em> Emma sounds breathless on the other end of the line.</p><p>“Hey,” she replies, a grin spreading across her face before she can stop herself. </p><p>
  <em> Just a chance. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>there ya have it. just a chance. where do you think they'll go from here? if you've got any ideas or thoughts, drop em in the comments below or if you're simply along for the ride (heh. get it? motorcycle pun.) consider dropping us a kudo to let us know you're taking the journey with us. we hope you enjoyed. </p><p>be safe. </p><p>as always, you can find the three of us in the prom discord, and jess and ellis @julietinchucks and @ifthebookdoesntsell on tumblr.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. but now there's you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>They talk late into the night, neither caring of the time as they converse about everything that they possibly can. Alyssa tells Emma about working at the diner, about her bed that’s just slightly too soft, about how she’s never really been outside of Edgewater. </p><p>In return, Emma tells her about a time she drove through Tennessee, about the stars and how she dreamed if she went fast enough on her bike she might be able to touch the sky. She whispers into the phone about how she hasn’t been home in years-- Alyssa doesn’t push over why-- about how she’s never met somebody as wonderful or beautiful as the brunette in all of that time. </p><p>They discuss that which is important, significant, and also that which is inconsequential, that which can say everything about a person while seemingly not saying anything at all. </p><p>(Or, Emma and Alyssa start taking steps.)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey y'all! sorry this took a bit longer than the other chaps; it needed to be gotten right (and some shit hit the fan irl lmao -ellis), but we hope that you enjoy! they're finally getting things together!! </p><p>(chap title from jrb's i'd give it all for you.)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They talk late into the night, neither caring of the time as they converse about everything that they possibly can. Alyssa tells Emma about working at the diner, about her bed that’s just slightly too soft, about how she’s never really been outside of Edgewater. </p><p>In return, Emma tells her about a time she drove through Tennessee, about the stars and how she dreamed if she went fast enough on her bike she might be able to touch the sky. She whispers into the phone about how she hasn’t been home in years-- Alyssa doesn’t push over why-- about how she’s never met somebody as wonderful or beautiful as the brunette in all of that time. </p><p>They discuss that which is important, significant, and also that which is inconsequential, that which can say everything about a person while seemingly not saying anything at all. </p><p>And somehow, it feels as though they’ve known each other for a lifetime as the night rushes by, as they both settle against their pillows, as they relax into the softness that is the other’s voice, as they manage to see without seeing, manage to fall deeper, harder, without moving at all. </p><p>They laugh-- Alyssa hasn’t smiled so hard in months-- and they fill the silence with ease. It’s perfect, like Edgewater after rain, like the way the road is washed clean after a storm so strong that the thunder sounds like a heartbeat. Alyssa listens to Emma talk, and it’s like, for the very first time, she isn’t so frightened by the dark, by the future. Alyssa listens to Emma with hope in every breath, with quick laughter and smart replies that make the girl protest incredulously that nobody’s ever been able to keep up with her. </p><p>Alyssa listens to Emma, talks to her, until she can’t anymore, until her eyes are drooping and dawn is starting to shuffle out of bed and look for the key to unlock the sunrise. She dozes off while Emma is still on the line, equally as exhausted and happy. She can imagine the smile on the other girl’s lips, can imagine the softness of her being. She takes a deep breath, stumbling into her slumber with the knowledge that though she’ll only have a few hours to sleep, she’ll wake up more rested than she has in her whole life. </p><p>“Sleep well,” she hears distantly, barely able to mumble a reply before her eyes slide shut and, for the first time in a long time, Alyssa knows what it is to dream.</p><p>***</p><p>Alyssa’s alarm goes off at 6:45am sharp. She rubs at her eyes, knowing she only got a few hours of sleep.  </p><p>Groaning, she drags herself out of bed, blindly reaching for her phone and squinting at the screen that’s lit up. </p><p><b>[Emma, 2:45am]: </b> <em> it seemed like you fell asleep so i hung up. didn’t want your phone to die :) </em></p><p>Alyssa smiles at how considerate the other girl is. She types several replies, trying to figure out what exactly she could possibly say that would convey everything she’s feeling. She shakes her head. </p><p>It’s just Emma. Emma knows already. </p><p><b>[Alyssa, 6:47am]: </b> <em> that’s really sweet. i just woke up. good morning! will i see you today? </em></p><p>She does her best not to make it sound too hopeful, tries to quiet the voice that tells her she’s already growing attached, how terrible of an idea it is to become smitten with this girl, though she knows deep down that she already is. </p><p>For a moment, she stares at her message, wishing Emma would reply before she shakes her head. </p><p>It’s time to start the day. </p><p>She grabs her clothes from her dresser, spinning her gaze around the room for anything else that she needs before her eyes land on Emma’s jacket, which is hanging over the chair. </p><p>Picking it up, she weighs her options. It’s warm. It makes her think of last night, how good, how <em> new </em> it all felt. She hangs it over her arm before she turns around and makes her way to the shower. </p><p>There’s no harm in getting ready and wearing it to work. She has to return it, anyway. </p><p>***</p><p>Alyssa arrives to work a few minutes late. She doesn’t mean to, but she’d dozed off in the shower a little before she realized what time it was, which meant that she barely had time to look at herself in the mirror before she’s rushing down the several blocks towards the diner. </p><p>“Sorry,” she breathes, looking in the direction of Barry-- who has already bid his farewells to Trent-- and her mother. Neither of them seem that upset, but she apologizes further with her eyes as she brushes her hair out of her face. “Is there anything left to do?”</p><p>“Menus still need to be put on the spots,” the man says absently, eyeing her suspiciously.</p><p>She nods, grabbing them from under the stand and replacing the stack with her bag. When she stands up, she notices how silent the room is. </p><p>“What?” she asks, clutching the menus under one arm. Her phone buzzes. </p><p>Before she can think better of it, Alyssa whips it out, eager to see if it’s Emma who texted. An automatic smile spreads across her face when she sees that’s the case, though her face falls slightly at the message. </p><p><b>[Emma, 7:09am]: </b> <em> good morning! unfortunately dumbass greg managed to damage his kickstand bc he forgot to put it up while trying to impress a dude in town. i have to help him take it to the shop so i can’t come to breakfast this morning :/  </em></p><p>She waits a beat, trying to think of a reply and completely forgetting about Barry and her mother. Her thumbs hover over the keys, but another message pops up-- </p><p>“Who are you texting?” Barry asks curiously, though it seems like he already has an idea. </p><p>Alyssa looks up and shrugs. “Just Emma.” </p><p>She’s anxious to see what else the girl said, but Barry’s eyes glimmer, which Alyssa knows means he wants to hear more. </p><p>“Does that by any chance have to do with the <em> Nolan </em> that’s on the back of your jacket?” </p><p>Alyssa’s eyes widen. She hadn’t even looked at the back this morning; she hadn’t even looked at it the night before when Emma handed it over. People have seen her walking around with it; people have seen her with somebody else’s last name on her back, and yet-- </p><p>Alyssa doesn’t really care. If people think she’s Emma’s, Alyssa actually wouldn’t mind at all. She knows that. </p><p>“Maybe,” she answers, as nonchalant as she can, finally glancing at her phone, too curious to wait any longer. </p><p><b>[Emma, 7:10am]: </b> <em> but i was hoping that you would want to go out later?  </em></p><p><b>[Emma, 7:10am]: </b> <em> like on a date?  </em></p><p>Alyssa’s heart beats out of her chest at the last two words. <em> A date. </em>She hasn’t been on a date with somebody she liked in so long. She quivers under the weight of it, what it would mean to go out with this girl that knows her far too well for being around for less than a week, what it would mean to give into the temptation, the goodness, that is Emma. </p><p>The little voice returns, telling her that she’ll only get hurt, that she’ll be heartbroken in just a few days time, but the more Alyssa thinks about it, the more she realizes that if her heart were to be taken, stolen, unreturned for the rest of her life, she wouldn’t want to give it to anybody but Emma. It would, in fact, be an honor to have her heart broken by somebody as wonderful, as beautiful and sweet, as Emma. </p><p>And, if she’s honest, there’s now another little whisper inside her head that says maybe Emma will be the first not to hurt her. </p><p>She texts back before she can think anymore, before she can think of all the reasons why this is a terrible idea, before the little voice overpowers the whisper, before the doubtful side of herself, the thing that’s guided her every move for the last twenty years finds its true voice and screams, terrifies her into declining. </p><p><b>[Alyssa, 7:15am]: </b> <em> i think i’d like that. if it were a date, i mean. what time? </em></p><p>Alyssa watches the three dots move across the screen, blood roaring in her ears. This feels momentous, feels important and perfect and affirming in every way. </p><p>
  <em> Emma likes her. Emma wants to take her out.  </em>
</p><p><b>[Emma, 7:17am]: </b> <em> how about 5:30? i can pick you up? </em></p><p><b>[Emma, 7:17am]: </b> <em> oh shit you have work don’t you?  </em></p><p>Alyssa’s gaze snaps to the two adults in front of her. Her mother has moved on to counting the slices of toast and creamers they have while Barry is still watching her with rapt attention. </p><p>“Can I have the afternoon off?” She blurts out the words before she can talk herself out of it.</p><p>Veronica turns to her in surprise, and it seems like she’s ready to decline, but Barry interrupts. </p><p>“Of course you can, dear!” He claps his hands together. “You never take any time for yourself! What’s the occasion?” </p><p>Alyssa’s throat feels dry as she looks between her mother and the man. “I have… I have a date?”</p><p>“A date?!” Barry exclaims. “That’s wonderful!” He looks over at this friend, glaring daggers at her. “Isn’t that wonderful, Ronnie?” </p><p>Veronica narrows her eyes back at him at the nickname but looks less reserved at the thought of her daughter taking the night off. </p><p>“It is,” she replies, contemplating. Alyssa feels herself burning under her mom’s gaze, trying to gauge her reaction. Her ears perk up in surprise when Veronica takes a deep breath and does her best to smile. “What are you going to wear?” </p><p>Alyssa shrugs. “Just this?” She gestures to herself, to her sensible black t-shirt and faded jeans. She clutches at the jacket, fiddling with the sleeves that she forgot to roll up in haste to get out the door earlier in the morning. </p><p>“Just that?!” Barry gasps, bringing a hand over his mouth. “Oh, Audra McDonald.” </p><p>“Honey, you can’t just wear your work clothes,” Veronica agrees. </p><p>The girl shifts uncomfortably, watching the two adults. </p><p>“Does it really matter?” she asks. “It’s just casual, right?” </p><p>“Just casual,” the man repeats, as though he’s been thoroughly offended. “Just casual?!” </p><p>Alyssa looks at him, eyes wide. “What I mean is--”</p><p>“Nope!” Barry interrupts, waving his arms. “God. I can’t believe I have to do this. Alyssa, honey, can I please help you get ready for your date?”</p><p>Alyssa gapes at him, red in the face. </p><p>“I’m perfectly capable of--” </p><p>“Please?” </p><p>The girl looks to her mother, who nods encouragingly, smiling wider now. Alyssa isn’t quite sure what to make of this turn of events. Her mother approves, seems to think that this would be a good idea, even after all they’ve been through-- </p><p>She nods. </p><p>“Fine. But nothing too frilly, got it?”</p><p>Barry claps his hands. </p><p>“I swear. Nothing frilly!” </p><p>***</p><p>“What about this?” Barry holds up a pretty pink dress, looking at it from every angle he can. </p><p>“Barry,” Alyssa groans in exasperation, falling back against her bed. “I’m not wearing that! It’s just a first date, not prom!” </p><p>This is the fifth outfit they’ve gone through, each one just a tad more extravagant than the one before. Alyssa is starting to lose her patience.</p><p>“I just want you to look your best, honey!” Barry replies earnestly. “What do you think of this one?”</p><p>Alyssa cracks an eye open to look at what’s in his hands: a simple black, pleated skirt and flowery blouse. Her lips twitch as she tries not to smile. </p><p>“Aha!” the man exclaims. “You like it! Is this the one?” </p><p>She sits up, nodding. “I think so. I’ll put it on.” </p><p>Barry grins excitedly. “I’ll be right outside. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear this?” </p><p>“I was supposed to wear it to my high school grad party,” she admits. “I ended up working the shift that day instead.” She rubs the fabric between her fingers. </p><p>Barry’s smile dims slightly. “Well, you get to wear it now!” he says, trying to bring cheer to the situation. “Besides, a date is <em> much more </em> important than any dumb high school party, right?” </p><p>Alyssa cracks a smile. “Right.” </p><p>She stands up, waiting for him to leave the room before she pulls on the outfit, discarding her t-shirt and jeans in a pile on her bed, careful not to mess up her makeup. She’s still unsure why they did it out of order, but Barry had insisted that it be done to start. </p><p>Buttoning the blouse, she wanders over to the mirror on the door of her closet, surveying herself. </p><p>She swallows hard, her heart thumping in her ears. She pulls her hair down from the messy bun it was in, running her fingers through it. </p><p>Alyssa feels pretty; it’s not something she can say very often, though it’s nobody’s fault, really. She works; she goes home. There’s no time to go out, no time normally to try on outfits and hang out. But now, as she looks at herself, she finds that, for the first time, she really cares what somebody else is going to think of her. </p><p>It’s enough to make her throat tighten, to make her wonder if this is how most girls feel, those who are unburdened by the weight of a town designed to force people to make a decision between running and staying, those whose dreams aren’t dampened by that little thing called tragedy. </p><p>She feels pretty. </p><p>And though in the span of her life it may become an inconsequential fact, Alyssa doesn’t care. </p><p>She looks at herself, simultaneously feeling the most and least herself that she ever has. It’s freeing. </p><p>“Are you done in there?” Barry’s voice is muffled through the door. </p><p>“Yeah,” she calls back, smoothing out the skirt. </p><p>He gasps and smiles the second he twists the knob open. </p><p>“You look great, honey.” He comes up behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder. “You’re going to knock that girl’s boots off.” </p><p>Alyssa meets his eyes in the mirror, nervous and a little breathless. “You think so?” </p><p>“I know so.” He nods, before he clearly spies something else in the corner. Reaching, he snatches Emma’s jacket from the desk where Alyssa had folded it neatly. “Now, finishing touches. Put this on.” </p><p>She looks at him doubtfully. “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Put it on!” </p><p>Alyssa rolls her eyes affectionately and takes the garment from him, pulling it over her shoulders. He gestures for her to turn back to the mirror. </p><p>Her throat clogs again. She has a date. And she looks nice for it. She’s wearing Emma’s jacket, knows that it <em> means </em> something, even if she tries to downplay it in her own head. </p><p>Barry’s eyes gleam; she can see it in the mirror. </p><p>“She’s going to be speechless,” he tells her confidently. “You look beautiful.”</p><p>Alyssa smiles at herself in the mirror, tries to think of another time where she felt like this.</p><p>She can’t. She’s never felt this, never had the nervous jitters because of somebody, never cared <em> so much. </em> It’s better than she ever dreamed. </p><p>“This is your night,” Barry murmurs. “Tonight belongs to you. Don’t worry about the restaurant, or anything else, alright?” </p><p>She turns around and rushes forward to hug him. He pats her back. </p><p>“Thank you.” </p><p>“Of course.” He kisses the top of her head. “I’ll be going.” He squeezes her tight for a moment before he lets her go, waving as he exits her room in the direction of the door. “Have fun!” </p><p>She nods, suddenly at a loss for words.</p><p>Alyssa turns back to the mirror one last time. </p><p><em> Tonight belongs to her. </em> </p><p>This is the chance Emma asked of her, the one Alyssa fought hours into the night with herself over, the one over which she begged her heart to learn how to hand over something as simple as the opportunity for somebody to see her soul. </p><p>She shifts from foot to foot. </p><p><em> Tonight belongs to her.  </em> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so. what did you think? if you enjoyed, consider dropping us a comment/kudo below. it would make us smile! next chapter, they'll go on their date! </p><p>thanks for sticking around! </p><p>as always, you can find all three of us in the prom discord and jess and ellis @julietinchucks and @ifthebookdoesntsell on tumblr. </p><p>be safe x</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. for you by my side</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa is ready ten minutes early, as usual. She pulls on her shoes— a simple pair of slip-ons that she had overruled Barry on after he put his foot down that she couldn’t wear her Keds on a first date— and begins to pace. </p><p>Her mind starts to wander. She hadn’t even asked Emma what they’re doing tonight, hadn’t thought to even worry as she normally does. Emma makes her feel secure, makes her think that whatever they do they’ll have a good time because they’re together. It’s a bit silly to think; she barely knows Emma, and yet-- </p><p>She wrings her hands, suddenly breathless, because she knows what a tiny voice in her head is saying, knows that part of her is aware that Emma understands her, implicitly so, that she doesn’t even have to worry because the girl has probably put so much thought, so much care into tonight. </p><p>She checks the clock. </p><p>Five minutes-- </p><p>There’s a knock at the door. A shock runs down her spine. </p><p>(Or, Emma and Alyssa have several firsts (including their date), they bond, and some secrets are revealed.)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey y'all. back at ya with chapter six! it's longer than the rest, but it's what it deserved for it to be done right. we know that pretty much everybody following this story has been waiting for this, so we hope that you enjoy! </p><p>(chap title from jrb's i'd give it all for you.)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alyssa is ready ten minutes early, as usual. She pulls on her shoes— a simple pair of slip-ons that she had overruled Barry on after he put his foot down that she couldn’t wear her Keds on a first date— and begins to pace. </p><p>Her mind starts to wander. She hadn’t even asked Emma what they’re doing tonight, hadn’t thought to even worry as she normally does. Emma makes her feel secure, makes her think that whatever they do they’ll have a good time because they’re together. It’s a bit silly to think; she barely knows Emma, and yet-- </p><p>She wrings her hands, suddenly breathless, because she knows what a tiny voice in her head is saying, knows that part of her is aware that Emma understands her, implicitly so, that she doesn’t even have to worry because the girl has probably put so much thought, so much care into tonight. </p><p>She checks the clock. </p><p>
  <em>Five minutes-- </em>
</p><p>There’s a knock at the door. A shock runs down her spine. </p><p>She adjusts herself, taking a deep breath before she wanders over to the door, twisting the knob open. </p><p>A smile plays on her lips the moment she sees Emma. She’s dressed simply: dark-wash jeans, a flannel, and another one of her seemingly endless supply of leather jackets. She looks <em> good, </em> confident, and it’s enough to make Alyssa blush, enough to make her wonder what Emma will think of her until she swings the door fully open and watches the girl’s expression change. </p><p>“Wow,” Emma mumbles, coughing when she realizes she said the word aloud. “You look… wow.” </p><p>Alyssa bites her lip, stepping over the threshold and shutting the door behind her, fumbling for her key in her purse. </p><p>“I look wow?” she teases, keeping Emma in the corner of her eye as she turns the lock shut. </p><p>“Yeah.” Emma blushes, running a hand through her hair. “I mean, you look pretty. Like, really pretty.” </p><p>Heat rising on her cheeks, Alyssa turns back to Emma fully. </p><p>“Well, I think you look wow, too. And really pretty.” </p><p>Emma grins. “Thanks.” Tentatively, she reaches out her hand. “Shall we?”</p><p>Alyssa nods, taking it and squeezing. The blonde tugs her along, down the stairs and out the door. Expecting the bike, Alyssa’s eyes scan the street; Emma laughs. </p><p>“We’re taking the pickup.” She points to a beat up red truck. “I didn’t want you to yell at me again for going too fast,” she jokes. “And also, it’ll be more comfortable.”</p><p>“That’s really sweet,” Alyssa says quietly. </p><p>Emma flushes. “It’s nothing.” She leads Alyssa over to the passenger side of the car, pulling the door open. “After you,” she teases, sweeping her hand. </p><p>Alyssa tries not to smile too hard, stepping into the car without any argument, eyes teasing as she tucks her skirt away from the door and catches Emma staring at her legs. </p><p>Quickly, hazel eyes snap away as the blonde shuts the door and rounds the car, her ears red. Alyssa’s heart beats quicker at the realization of what it all means; Emma is attracted to her.  Emma likes her. She smiles to herself, turning to the girl when she gets into the driver’s seat, trying to get her mind off of the new feeling. </p><p>“Where are we going, anyway?”</p><p>Emma looks over at her, grinning as she turns the key in the ignition. </p><p>“You’ll see.” </p><p>***</p><p>Emma drives them to the lake just outside of Edgewater. </p><p>Alyssa hasn’t been up here since she was a kid, but she recognizes it immediately; it’s almost as if nothing has changed. </p><p>“I did some research,” the blonde admits, putting the car in park after expertly backing them into a corner spot beneath a tree. “This is apparently the nicest place around here. I thought we could have a picnic.” She sounds suddenly nervous as she begins to ramble: “I got pizza. And cookies. Do you like pizza and cookies? If you don’t, that’s really awkward--”</p><p>“Emma!” Alyssa interrupts, trying not to smile.  “Of course I like pizza and cookies.” </p><p>“Oh. Okay. Good.” Emma looks over that, cheeks flushing. “I brought blankets too. I thought maybe we could sit in the back and eat?” </p><p>Alyssa nods. “That sounds great.” </p><p>“Okay. Good,” Emma repeats, looking as though her heart is in her throat. </p><p>“Okay. Good,” Alyssa replies, teasing gently. </p><p>It seems to put the blonde at ease. She grins, rolling her eyes softly as she pushes her door open and gestures for her date to do the same. </p><p>And before Alyssa knows it, they’ve settled comfortably into the bed of the truck, pizza box open between them as they watch the sunset, waiting for the stars to spread across the sky like glitter. </p><p>Emma points out a few constellations she knows, swallowing a particularly cheesy bite before tracing the Big Dipper with her finger, drawing a line down to its companion. </p><p>“The stars are so clear here,” she says in awe, and though Alyssa nods along, she’s having more fun watching Emma stargaze than anything. </p><p>The night continues that way, both of them stealing glances at each other until all of the food is gone, until their chatter seems to fill the night with the exact right amount of noise, until Alyssa is cuddled comfortably against Emma’s side as if they’ve known each other for years and not mere days. </p><p>Alyssa voices such thoughts. </p><p>“I feel like I’ve known you for so long,” she breathes, cheek on Emma’s shoulder as she looks up at her. </p><p>“Me too,” Emma replies, a small smile on her lips, eyes meeting Alyssa’s. </p><p>“It’s weird, you know? Considering I don’t even know where you’re from.”  </p><p>Emma chuckles, fingers tangling softly in brown curls as she looks up thoughtfully. </p><p>“Well, sometimes I don’t know where I’m from, either,” she admits, shrugging softly. </p><p>Alyssa sits up, suddenly curious. “What’s that supposed to mean?” </p><p>“It’s nothing,” Emma tries to say, swallowing hard. “I don’t mean to ruin the mood.” </p><p>Shaking her head, Alyssa grabs the blonde’s hand. “You’re not! I want to know about you.” She nudges her gently. “C’mon. Tell me your past, Miss Hot and Mysterious.” </p><p>Snorting quietly, Emma shifts so that she’s fully facing her date, legs crossed under one of the blankets. </p><p>“Hot and mysterious, huh?” she teases. </p><p>Alyssa nods without missing a beat, for once able to banish her self consciousness. </p><p>“I guess I have to tell you now,” Emma laughs, biting her lip around a brighter grin as she tries to collect her thoughts. </p><p>“You do,” Alyssa agrees, setting herself to listen attentively. </p><p>“It’s not that exciting,” the blonde forewarns, looking down and fiddling with her fingers. “Just the typical gay thing, you know? Parents kick you out when you’re sixteen; you find new people; you end up traveling the country because there’s literally nothing else that you know how to do.” </p><p>
  <em> You learn how important staying is, how important it is to stick it out, how running away is what really destroys you-- </em>
</p><p>--are the words she doesn’t say. </p><p>But Alyssa can hear them loud and clear. </p><p>“Oh, Em,” she says quietly, reaching her hand out. Emma takes it without hesitation. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>The biker shakes her head, taking a deep breath and letting it out quickly. “Don’t be. I’m happier than I ever was there. Besides, I wouldn’t have met you.” </p><p>It’s Alyssa’s turn to blush. “Sweet talker.”</p><p>“It’s not sweet talking if it’s true.” </p><p>They begin an impromptu staring match, both of them narrowing their eyes playfully until they break at the same time. </p><p>It’s quiet for a moment before Emma taps Alyssa’s knee lightly. </p><p>“What about you?” she asks. </p><p>Alyssa’s movements stutter. “What about me?” </p><p>“I told you mine.” Emma shrugs. “I assumed we were trading stories. But only if you want.” </p><p>This time, Alyssa’s gaze turns up to the sky. She contemplates what it would mean; she’s never had to tell anybody about her family. Everybody in Edgewater knew the moment it happened, and though she’ll never admit it, Alyssa knows she would have felt more in control if she could have told who she wanted, and now, there’s a chance to brush over it with Emma, to not be seen as some part of a puzzle that doesn’t have all of its pieces, to not have to explain her fascination and fear of the juxtaposition between staying and leaving. </p><p>Still, hazel eyes are earnest as they look at her in confusion, in worry, and Alyssa finds herself sure she needs to tell Emma, needs to be honest. She finds herself realizing that Emma is the first person that she actually wants to see all of her. </p><p>It’s terrifying. </p><p>She takes a deep breath. </p><p>This is important, monumental. She does her best to smile. </p><p>“Why don’t you ask me what you want to know?” </p><p>Emma looks at her in surprise; Alyssa nods her confirmation that she heard right. </p><p>“Tell me the biggest thing you’ve learned, then.” </p><p>Alyssa’s breath stutters once more. Emma isn’t asking the obvious question; Emma is being considerate, waiting for her to reveal what she wants to. </p><p><em> God, </em>this girl. </p><p>She taps her fingers over the blanket as she thinks, finally coming up with an answer that could lead to the conversation she knows needs to be had. </p><p>“Sometimes you find your family along the way, and they’re often better than the one you’ve been dealt originally.” </p><p>Emma’s lips lift into the tiniest smile, clearly understanding, clearly feeling the same way. Her eyes are soft. </p><p>“You sound like you know what you’re talking about.” </p><p>Alyssa hums. “You could say that.” </p><p>“Who’s Andrew?” Emma blurts out, referencing the namesake of the diner, the letters she sees on the outside of the restaurant, on all the menus. </p><p>“I think you know,” Alyssa answers, looking down. This is much harder than she thought; it’s not as if it’s anything close to what happened with Emma, but still, it’s part of her, part of the reason why she’s hesitant with her heart, prefers to listen to her head— </p><p>“Your dad left you?” </p><p>Alyssa snorts. “My mom and I prefer the term abandoned. Barry likes <em> was a loser</em>, the most.” </p><p>“Don’t joke!” Emma pouts. “I want to know about you. You don’t have to fake anything for me, Alyssa.” </p><p>As soon as the words reach her ears, there’s a giant weight lifted off of Alyssa’s shoulders. </p><p>Emma wants to know about her. Emma doesn’t mind if she talks about herself. Emma sees right through every wall she’s ever built— </p><p>“He left when I was nine,” she finally says. “He sold his shares of the diner to my mom for an unfair price; we almost went under because of it. He was gone before I even woke up that morning.” She shrugs. “I haven’t seen or heard from him since. I don’t even know where he is.” </p><p>She tries to hide the way there’s tears on the inside of her throat, looks up again at the stars Emma pointed out to her, finding that she doesn’t feel adrift for the very first time as she replays the blonde’s awe at the view from earlier in her head to calm herself. </p><p>“Sounds like Barry’s right,” Emma replies quietly, trying to smile. “Besides, he doesn’t even know what he’s missing.” </p><p>It happens in a flash, but suddenly, Alyssa is in Emma’s arms, face pressed into her neck, blanket thrown off of herself haphazardly. Emma kisses the top of her head and holds her tight as Alyssa breathes her in, breath starting and stopping as the softest of tears run down her cheeks. </p><p>It’s been so long; she knows that. And yet, Alyssa also knows she’s always had to be strong, had to be stalwart and sure for her mother even during her tender pre-teen years. </p><p>Emma makes her feel like she doesn’t have to hold herself up any longer. Emma makes her feel safe enough to crack, to cave, to fall apart just the tiniest bit. </p><p>She burrows further against her. </p><p>“I’m here,” Emma murmurs, as if reading her mind. “I’ve got you.” </p><p>Alyssa nods, hand tightening where it’s fisted in the front of Emma’s shirt. “I’ve got you, too,” she manages to breathe. </p><p>She smiles to herself when Emma trembles against her in return. </p><p>For the first time, they both have somebody: somebody to comfort, somebody to care for them in return. Even if it’s for a few days, a few hours, a few minutes, it’s a necessary thing, a worthwhile endeavor to have the other close, to know what it is to search for how to make the other smile in her most raw moments. </p><p>They hold tighter. </p><p>They’ve got each other. </p><p>*** </p><p>The rest of their date goes off with a hitch; they continue to discuss their lives, snuggling close as the stars move across the sky in time with their laughter and tales. </p><p>Their hands stay clasped between them as they talk, warmth radiating off their bodies as the night’s cold envelops everything but their little bubble. </p><p>It’s late when Emma finally drives Alyssa home, and if the brunette is honest, she doesn’t want their time together to end. It doesn’t feel like a first date; it feels like a fifth, or one of an infinite number, like they’ve been doing this for so long that they stopped counting. </p><p>Emma holds her hand the whole drive, and it makes her heart speed as they pull up. Her heart can’t seem to tell her head to relinquish its hold. </p><p>They sit in silence, staring at her apartment until the blonde nudges her. </p><p>“I’ll walk you to the door.” </p><p>Alyssa nods, smiling softly. </p><p>They only let go to get out of the car before Emma rounds the car and finds Alyssa again, their arms brushing as Alyssa leads the way up the stairs. </p><p>Once they reach the door, she turns around, facing Emma as she plants her feet firmly on the doormat and tries to think of adequate words to describe tonight, how much fun she had, how much it meant. </p><p>“Thank you for tonight,” she finally decides on, grabbing Emma’s hand and holding it between them. </p><p>“It was fun,” Emma manages, staring back at her with a kind sureness. “Thanks for saying yes, giving me a chance and all.” </p><p>Heart stuttering, Alyssa smiles. “Best decision ever.” </p><p>They’ve somehow gotten closer. Emma shoves her other hand in her pocket as Alyssa quivers a little under her gaze. Suddenly, the quiet between them feels slightly suffocating, as if it’s trying to push them towards something though Alyssa isn’t quite sure what. </p><p>Her fingers intertwine further with Emma’s as the girl wanders just the slightest bit nearer. Alyssa studies hazel eyes, the way they’re changing with every second. Again, she’s able to see the wisdom of them, the light of a thousand cities-- all places she’s sure Emma has passed through-- reflected back at her. She notices a new glimmer in them, too. It’s barely there, but there’s something fresh in Emma’s eyes, a longing, an interest. </p><p>Their noses are almost touching now, their breath mingling between them, and Alyssa’s somehow almost against her door now, hand on the knob for support though it isn’t unlocked yet. </p><p>Emma’s free hand comes up to brace herself against the wood next to the brunette’s shoulder. Her moves are tentative, gentle, as her eyes flicker down and Alyssa’s do the same. </p><p>Alyssa swears she can hear their hearts beating in time. She looks to form words, tongue poking out to lick her lips, but nothing comes out. </p><p>“Is this okay?” Emma breathes, so close it almost hurts. </p><p>And suddenly, she can’t take it anymore. </p><p>In a flash, Alyssa’s hand is pulling from Emma’s grasp until both can reach up to hold the girl’s face and ease her down so that their lips are pressed together. </p><p>For a moment, they just stand like that, not doing much but just touching, feeling, but then, Emma seems to kick into overdrive, leaning closer and deepening it. </p><p>Alyssa’s entire world shifts on its axis as she returns the pressure, kissing back with a fervence she didn’t even know she possessed, holding the girl’s face in her hand as if she’s the most breakable and unbreakable thing in the whole world. </p><p>Blood roars in her ears, and Alyssa feels herself slipping with this new feeling, finds the cliff’s edge is getting closer and closer as time simultaneously flashes by and stands still. </p><p>Because with the way Emma kisses her, and it’s like, somehow, everything in her whole life has led to this moment, like before now, their souls were simply wandering the Earth, searching for this feeling. </p><p>Emma’s driven through Tennessee out to California and back; Alyssa’s mind has always been where nobody else knew her, where she could fall in love without the pressures of Edgewater holding her down; and yet, there’s never been anybody who’s been able to do this, been able to make them suddenly look at themselves, been the reason why the day isn’t shitty and the nights aren’t lonely. </p><p>Emma kisses Alyssa, and she has the stray thought that if she were the kind of girl that believed in fate, this is exactly what it would feel like: pressed against the wall next to her apartment, a nose nudging hers as she fights for the breath that’s seemingly been stolen from her by the prettiest girl she’s ever laid eyes on.  </p><p>If Alyssa believed in fate, it would all make sense; if she believed in fate, Emma walking into the diner would no longer be a coincidence, no longer be a choice; it would be how her life is meant to go. Part of it is comforting, part of it makes her realize that she’s always longed for a plan; it feels good to know Emma might be part of hers in whatever way the universe split up the fallen stars at its birth. </p><p>Emma kisses her, and it feels like everything and nothing, feels like falling and chasing but also staying put, a quiet night where no work has to be done, where every responsibility has been taken care of. It makes her believe she’s the kind of girl worth staying for; because Emma is kissing her hard, with a fire and an earnestness that makes all irrelevant thoughts leave her head, because Emma’s hands cupping her cheeks makes her feel the safest she has since the days before her family split up. </p><p>Her pulse stutters inside of her chest, beats erratically as Alyssa absently wonders if this is what it is to offer up your heart, if this is what it is to not care about consequences. </p><p>Before she can think too hard about it, she presses closer, wrapping an arm around the blonde’s shoulders, taking in every inch of her that she can as she forces herself to stay in the moment and away from the existential a little longer. </p><p>If oxygen weren’t an obstacle, Alyssa would have asked Emma to stay like that forever, probably would have succeeded in convincing her to do so, but finally, they’re both too lightheaded to bear. </p><p>They pull back, suddenly flushed, noticing how the other’s lips are kiss swollen. </p><p>Alyssa stares up at Emma, the tension palpable as their eyes meet once more.  </p><p>“I should go,” Emma manages, jerking her thumb back awkwardly in the direction of the stairs. </p><p>The brunette nods dumbly, her entire body buzzing from the kiss. She clears her throat. “Okay.” </p><p>Emma smiles, redness rising into her ears. “Okay.” </p><p>She hesitates, making a move to wave before she obviously thinks better of it and gives Alyssa one last gentle kiss. </p><p>“Good night, baby,” she breathes, smiling against her lips when she feels the puff of air the brunette lets out at the term of endearment. </p><p>They stand that close, noses brushing as Alyssa mumbles, “Good night, Em.” She pulls back, afraid that if they continue like that she won’t know how any longer. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” </p><p>Emma notices the shift, nodding. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She takes a step back, and then another, eyes staying focused on Alyssa until she has to turn around to take the stairs. She waves. “If Greg hurts his bike again, I’ll make somebody else go with him. Promise!” </p><p>The comment makes Alyssa bite her lip around a smile. “Get back safe,” she calls. </p><p>“I’ll text when I get there,” Emma assures. </p><p>Alyssa watches her descend down the stairs, making sure that curly blonde hair is completely out of sight and she’s heard the start of the pickup before she unlocks her door and wanders inside, feeling completely in the moment and also out of body at the same time. She toes off her slip ons, heart still racing when she goes into her bedroom to change. </p><p>She gazes into the mirror one last time, almost unable to recognize herself. </p><p>She looks <em> happy, </em>irrevocably so. She ignores how dangerous that could possibly be when her phone lights up with a message. </p><p><b>[Emma, 12:03am]: </b> <em> home safe. i had fun tonight. i hope you did too? &lt;3 </em></p><p>Alyssa smiles at the message, typing back before she can agonize over what she should reply. </p><p><b>[Alyssa, 12:03am]: </b> <em> it was the best one of my life &lt;3 </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so. what did you think? i (ellis, ifthebookdoesntsell) really hope that you enjoyed! i poured almost all the feeling i could into this chapter (i've been spearheading almost all the actual writing after brainstorming tons of fantastic ideas with jess and LYF!), and honestly, i'm pretty glad with how it turned out. </p><p>if you enjoyed, consider dropping us a comment/kudo down below. it would make us smile :)</p><p>as always, you can find all three of us in the prom discord, and jess and i on tumblr @julietinchucks and @ifthebookdoesntsell on tumblr. </p><p>be safe out there!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. it's easy to hide</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Hi,” Emma says quietly, the tiniest bit shy as she grins. </p><p>Alyssa’s eyes light up. “Hi.” </p><p>“Hey, Swan!” The gravelly voice of one biker gang leader cuts through the moment. “If you’re done with the girl, some of us would like to get our day started.”</p><p>Emma dims a little at the comment, though she tries to hide it, sending a weaker smile Alyssa’s way before she waves and heads over to the booth. </p><p>Her steps are heavier than when she came in, and the waitress takes note of such things before she heads over to take the order, trying not to blush too hard when she feels hazel eyes discreetly roaming over her. </p><p>As usual, the gang ends up ordering far more food than they could possibly eat, though Alyssa isn’t one to turn away customers that claim to be hungry, and by the end, after several refills of coffee and juice and everybody ribbing Emma for the way she can’t tear her gaze from the girl she took on a date last night, they pack up the leftovers. </p><p>“Kind of crazy we only have two more days here,” Dee Dee says, too loudly for it to be innocent. </p><p>(Or, there's a newfound softness between Emma and Alyssa, but staying in theory and staying in practice are different things.)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey y'all! hope everybody's doing alright. sorry this chapter took a bit longer to get out; we all started work and school again. also... if you read the summary, you might see that the latter half of this chapter is when shit hits the fan more. never fear! this will have a happy ending.</p><p>thank you for reading! </p><p>enjoy!</p><p>(title from jrb's i'd give it all for you)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alyssa wakes up bright and early the next morning, somehow full of energy despite not heading to bed for the next hour after she texted Emma goodnight, too caught up in the excitement, in the newness of it all. </p><p>She rolls out of bed, getting ready in record time before bouncing her way down to work, wrapped in Emma’s scent, in her jacket, in every thought, every word from last night that still gives her butterflies just recalling. </p><p>She waves at her mother and Barry when she walks through the door, smile still playing on her lips as she grabs the fresh stack of menus from beneath the host stand and switching out the items in her hands as always, humming softly to herself as she repeats her usual daily routine with pep in her step for the first time in years. </p><p>“I take it you had fun on your date?” Veronica asks in affectionate amusement, taking stock of the different kinds of bread they have on hand.</p><p>“I did,” Alyssa concedes. </p><p>“Tell us all about it!” Barry adds. “Did she appreciate your outfit? Did you tell her you’re styled by the town’s Greg Barnes equivalent?” </p><p>Alyssa rolls her eyes but she does turn around, settling into one of the stools, leaning forward so that she’s eye level with the man who’s on the other side of the counter, his attention now focused on her. She’s suddenly ready to tell all under his gaze; Barry makes her feel comfortable in herself, makes her want to open up. It helps that even her mother’s ears seem to be perked up at the happiness in her daughter’s voice. </p><p>“I didn’t tell her my uncle helped me get dressed for my date,” Alyssa tells him, only slightly apologetic and mostly teasing. Barry jokingly pouts for a moment before he motions for her to continue, gesturing as if to say <em> I guess I can get over it. </em> “But she did tell me I looked <em> wow.”  </em></p><p><em> That </em> makes the diner’s co-owner do a little dance in front of her. Alyssa grins at him. </p><p>Her eyes grow dreamy as she recounts the rest of the events, keeping only the more intimate and private details to herself. Barry is enthralled, sighing over young love, smiling brightly at the joy Alyssa seems to have finally found a way to hold onto, at least for this moment. </p><p>He props himself on the counter, chin resting on his hands. </p><p>Alyssa goes on, mumbles every detail about Emma she can, quieter since her mother has gone into work mode and it feels secretive, like something she can share with Barry who understands what it is to struggle for romance, to have to wait for the time to finally be right.  </p><p>“And she kissed me at the end of the night,” Alyssa admits, soft wonder coloring her voice. “I’ve never been kissed like that, like it really meant something.” </p><p>Barry’s eyes soften. He reaches one of his hands out, taking her hand. “That’s wonderful, kiddo.”</p><p>She looks over at him shyly. “I really like her.”</p><p>“I know.” He squeezes gently. “You deserve this good thing.” </p><p>“Thanks, Barry,” she whispers. “I love you.” </p><p>“I love you, too,” he murmurs, kissing her forehead. </p><p>They smile at each other, an implicit understanding between two people who are cut from the same cloth, have had some of the same struggles. </p><p>The peace is broken when there’s a rumbling of motorcycles outside. Normally, the sound would annoy Alyssa, but she knows what that means, knows-- </p><p>“Your girl is here,” Barry teases, grinning. “You gonna keep that on?” He points to the leather jacket. </p><p>She sticks her tongue out him, pulling it tighter around her. </p><p>“Gay,” he whisper-sings.</p><p>Glaring affectionately, Alyssa determinately turns her gaze away from him at that, turning up her nose in exaggerated contempt and heading over to the door. </p><p>She waits by the door, watching as the gang dismounts from their bikes, eyes zeroing in on Emma before she looks away just in time for them to enter, a faint blush on her cheeks. </p><p>They all wave to her, talking animatedly, Dee Dee wandering over to kiss Barry hello on the cheek as Emma trails behind every so slightly, giving her friends time to walk ahead before she leans slightly on the host’s stand so that she and Alyssa are at eye level. </p><p>“Hi,” she says quietly, the tiniest bit shy as she grins. </p><p>Alyssa’s eyes light up. “Hi.” </p><p>“Hey, Swan!” The gravelly voice of one biker gang leader cuts through the moment. “If you’re done with the girl, some of us would like to get our day started.”</p><p>Emma dims a little at the comment, though she tries to hide it, sending a weaker smile Alyssa’s way before she waves and heads over to the booth. </p><p>Her steps are heavier than when she came in, and the waitress takes note of such things before she heads over to take the order, trying not to blush too hard when she feels hazel eyes discreetly roaming over her. </p><p>As usual, the gang ends up ordering far more food than they could possibly eat, though Alyssa isn’t one to turn away customers that claim to be hungry, and by the end, after several refills of coffee and juice and everybody ribbing Emma for the way she can’t tear her gaze from the girl she took on a date last night, they pack up the leftovers. </p><p>“Kind of crazy we only have two more days here,” Dee Dee says, too loudly for it to be innocent. </p><p>Alyssa pretends not to listen, though the words settle deep and make her heart feel a little heavier even as Angie hushes her friend and Emma makes a strangled, disappointed sound in her throat as if this is a conversation that has happened before. </p><p>“Not here,” Sheldon even hisses, but Dee Dee doesn’t seem to have a filter at this moment. She hasn’t ever seemed to have one, really. </p><p>“No use in forming new attachments!” she blurts out, singing slightly in the same way Barry does when he’s trying to get his point across. “Would be such a shame if anyone were to get hurt--”</p><p> Alyssa hears a fork clatter onto a plate and turns around, just in time to come face to face with Emma, each girl on one side of the counter. </p><p>“Do you want to go out tonight?” </p><p>The question takes her off guard. All morning, it had seemed like Emma was trying to keep to herself, whether if it was to escape the teasing from Greg and Angie or to get out from under the thumb of Narcissus, she’s not really sure. Still, they haven’t talked much since the bell chimed at the top of the door to signal a new entrance, so she’s a little speechless. </p><p>“I have work,” she manages to answer. </p><p>“I’ll pick you up after.” </p><p>There’s little room for argument and a sort of longing in Emma’s voice that Alyssa couldn't even resist if she tried. It’s sort of forced, as if she’s trying to prove a point-- Alyssa is quite aware that the blonde <em> is </em> trying to say something by doing this in front of her friends, her family-- but she tries not to think too much of it. Her heart pounds in her chest at the thought of going out with Emma again. It’s not like there’s <em> so much </em> to do, but there are definitely options for restaurants besides the diner and she’s sure that the movie theater in town that only shows one film at a time might blow Emma’s big, traveller mind. </p><p>“So?” Emma asks, pulling her from her thoughts. </p><p>Alyssa stares forward for a moment, wholly aware that everybody’s eyes are focused on them before she nods. </p><p>“Yeah. I’d like that.” </p><p>Emma smiles, and Alyssa can still tell something is off; she makes a note to ask her about it tonight. There’s a thinness to the blonde’s joy, as if she’s barely holding in whatever’s eating at her, as if plastering on an expression that could be interpreted as happiness is better than contemplating whatever turmoil is shifting inside. </p><p>“Good. I’ll see you then.” </p><p>She reaches across the space, placing her hand over Alyssa’s for a second, brushing her fingers over the back of her knuckles. </p><p>Alyssa relaxes. This is the Emma she knows: soft and careful in her movements, and in this quiet moment, she’s able to see past whatever easiness hazel eyes are trying to convey, can see a sort of desire that’s been perfectly veiled before, notices a fear, too, of what she doesn’t know, though. </p><p>She flips her hand, tangling their fingers, watching as Emma observes the movement, as she hears a breath hitch--</p><p>“Check please!” Dee Dee calls, effectively breaking their moment once more when Emma snaps her hand back as if she’s been burned, suddenly aware once more of her surroundings, of the time, of the implication that this is maybe her second to last breakfast at Andrew’s Diner for a long time, if not ever. </p><p>Suddenly, she looks even more unsure, and Alyssa wants to ask her about it-- <em> she does-- </em>but there’s no time. Emma is being whisked away, a barely mumbled farewell where hazel eyes can’t even meet hers reaching her ears before the diner is virtually empty once more; the true, town breakfast crowd won’t trickle in for another half hour. </p><p>She sighs, leaning against the counter and watching as the motorcycles outside rumble to life, as Emma pulls on her helmet and spares a look her way once more before they depart. </p><p>Something feels off, still, but she does her best to smile. </p><p>She has a date tonight. A <em> second </em> date. </p><p>Whatever is bothering them both will probably subside by then, will likely be replaced by that safety she now feels with Emma, by the gentleness of a hand in hers, by the way her heart seems to settle in her chest whenever the girl is close. </p><p>She won’t be nearly as dressed up as last night, but she doesn’t even care. </p><p>She can feel Barry and her mother looking at her and feels the corners of her lips rise before she can stop them. She knows they’re curious. </p><p>She also knows that since Emma essentially announced their plans in front of everybody, Barry-- who normally would head over to help his husband with the books at the playhouse-- is going to stick around until the bitter end of the day, until Emma picks her up. </p><p>And that, Alyssa won’t mind one bit. She can’t wait to hear what Barry thinks of the pickup. </p><p>***</p><p>Barry and Veronica linger in the front of the house, even as they try to be discreet about it. </p><p>Their attempted sneakiness makes Alyssa smile behind her textbook, rolling her eyes despite the fact that her heart swells at how supportive they’re being. Even her mom-- who normally is the first to advise against relationships that could end in possible heartbreak-- seems to have gotten on board. </p><p>Her date is fast approaching, and, oddly, it’s been radio silence from Emma. They’d been texting on and off for most of the morning, though it was more strained than before, but around an hour ago the messages had stopped. She doesn’t think much of it. They’re both busy; they both have responsibilities. </p><p>That’s what she tells herself, anyway. </p><p>She should have known better. </p><p>It’s about ten minutes from when her shift is over that her phone buzzes and lights up with a new message. </p><p><b>[Emma, 6:49pm]: </b> <em> hey. i'm sorry to do this, but i have to cancel tonight.  </em></p><p>The formality of it shocks Alyssa to her core. They’d been growing more comfortable-- she’s found that Emma normally has an extreme fondness for the smiley and and guitar emoji-- and it strikes her as totally, completely odd that all of the punctuation is right. It makes something in the pit of her stomach sink so completely, but she tries to ignore it, tries to squash any feelings of disappointment. </p><p>She should have expected this. </p><p>Good things don’t last for Greene women. Apparently, beyond a second date is too much to ask. </p><p>Alyssa doesn't want to read too much into it, but considering how Emma was acting a bit odd this morning, and the nature of her text, the message is pretty clear. </p><p>“I’m going to head home,” she announces.</p><p>Her mother and Barry look over at her, confusion evident on their faces.</p><p>“What about your date?” Veronica asks. Barry gestures to her as if to second the question. </p><p>Alyssa shrugs, closing her book none too gently. </p><p>“I guess I kinda got stood up,” she tries to laugh, waving her phone in their direction. “She texted to cancel. Weirdly perfect punctuation and all.” </p><p>“Oh, honey,” Barry sighs, eyes sympathetic. </p><p>Alyssa forces herself to look away; it shouldn’t hurt this much. It’s not like Emma even <em> really </em> stood her up. She texted. And yet--</p><p>“Are you okay, dear?” her mother questions. There’s a fire in her eyes, the kind that Alyssa recognizes from when a customer is being troublesome, or when somebody she loves gets hurt--</p><p>“I’m fine,” she answers, trying to make light of the situation. “Please don’t kill anybody.” </p><p>“I’m sorry, baby girl,” Barry says anyway. “Did she give you any reason why?”</p><p>Alyssa shakes her head, suddenly vibrating brokenly in her skin. “Just said she couldn’t make it.” She shrugs, gnawing on her bottom lip nervously. “Maybe she has a good reason, though. And she just can’t share it with me.”</p><p>Barry and Veronica nod. </p><p>“I’m going to go home,” she tells them, feeling more sure of herself, more at ease. “And I’m sure that later--”</p><p>The feeling doesn’t last. There’s a motorcycle rumbling outside. </p><p>At first, Alyssa whips around hoping to see blonde curly hair, but instead--</p><p>“Oh, here we go,” Barry mumbles, as soon as he realizes who it is, too. </p><p>He pinches at the bridge of his nose, and Alyssa swears she hears her mother whisper <em> oh, for the love of God.  </em></p><p>That can’t be good. It seems as though the two adults have experience with entrances like these. She shifts nervously from foot to foot. </p><p>Immediately, when Dee Dee enters the diner, a chill settles over the entire restaurant. </p><p>“Hello,” she says, though it seems she’s more announcing herself than greeting anybody else in the room. </p><p>“Hello, Dee Dee,” Barry replies, exasperation already evident in his voice. </p><p>Veronica eyes her suspiciously. It’s no coincidence that her daughter’s date cancelled and then the woman who’s ostensibly said date’s boss is now in the middle of her dining room floor. </p><p>“I heard what happened with Emma. I wanted to come and clear the air.”</p><p>Alyssa looks at her skeptically. If she knows anything about Emma Nolan, it’s that she doesn’t like her battles to be fought for her. Still, she doesn’t interrupt, curious to see what the older woman has to say. </p><p>There’s a few moments of silence, as if Dee Dee is only just realizing that she has to actually <em> say something. </em> </p><p>There’s an awkward coolness in the room, a suffocation as the biker’s head moves from side to side slightly, seemingly tossing ideas back and forth in her brain.</p><p>She barely has her mouth open when Barry interrupts.</p><p>“That’s your lying face.” </p><p>Dee Dee looks at him incredulously. “No, it’s not!”</p><p>He nods, pointing. “You’re still doing it. Don’t lie, Dee Dee. Just tell the kid what really happened. I really don’t think you want Veronica nor I upset right now.” </p><p>His friend gapes at him. Alyssa watches the exchange like a tennis match. She’s never seen Barry so firm with anybody in her life. </p><p>“Emma had a family emergency. Something with her dad. She had to--”</p><p>“You’re lying.” Angry heat courses through Alyssa’s veins at the words. She knows <em> for sure </em> how untrue that is. </p><p>Idly, she wonders if Emma even asked Dee Dee to come, or if the woman is sticking her nose where she doesn’t belong, making it all about her. </p><p>Last night, they’d talked at length about everything they could, about all that was important, and if Alyssa knows anything, Emma’s parents wouldn't call if there was a problem. Not even if the whole world was on fire. Emma told her of horror movies she and her father used to watch, of the cookies her mom used to make. She told her everything that was important-- and everything that wasn’t, too-- and, by the end, Emma had also admitted she’d let go of them. They weren’t her family any longer, and she was okay with that.</p><p>Her heart aches that Dee Dee would come up with such a lie, would try to say something so flimsy, something that could so easily be disproven--</p><p>“How do you know that, missy?” the woman asks, more annoyed than ever, though perhaps she’s most upset that she was caught in yet another attempted falsity. </p><p>“Emma and I talked last night,” Alyssa replies, more confident than she feels. “I know about her family. I know what happened.” She watches Dee Dee’s expression change to something almost guilty, as if she hadn’t known that detail, once more betraying that she may not have any business being here tonight, that she may have realized that she’s only making things worse but now it’s too late. “So, tell the truth.” Alyssa continues to speak. She doesn't know what else to do. Dee Dee has already made this into a mess, has already destroyed any benefit of the doubt she had been willing to give Emma. “Why isn’t she here?”</p><p>“Emma went out for a ride,” Dee Dee finally confesses. “She’s never been good at staying put, and I told her maybe getting attached to people wasn’t a good idea because of that! I gave my opinion, wanting to protect her, I might add, and said that she should maybe get back to her natural habitat and feel the wind in her hair, and--”</p><p>Barry drops his hand down onto the counter at that. “Oh my God, Dee Dee,” he groans. “I can’t believe you--”</p><p>“What?” the woman asks. “I just told her it would be better to remember who she is than spend time on some five day fling--” </p><p>Something snaps inside Alyssa at that. Her pulse pounds in her ears as she tries to get a breath, tries to comprehend what was just said. She should have known she was nothing more than a fling, than a distraction before Emma moved on. The self consciousness bubbling below the surface comes roaring out until there are tears in her eyes, until she’s trembling enough that she can feel her insides vibrating and her heart weighing heavy in her chest. </p><p>She takes a breath in, and suddenly, she’s surrounded by Emma, wearing her stupid jacket because she thought it meant something, because she thought that maybe there was some sort of reason that Emma gave it over aside from her being cold, because she thought that maybe, just maybe, Emma saw something in her. </p><p>Pulling it off roughly, anger boils heavier in the pit of her stomach until she’s stalking forward, simultaneous purpose and numbness in every step. She shoves the leather into Dee Dee’s hands, forcing herself not to quiver under the woman’s shocked gaze as she holds back the hurt she’s feeling. </p><p>“Here,” she snaps. “Give this to her. I don’t want it.” </p><p>She doesn’t look up to meet brown eyes which suddenly seem to indicate that Dee Dee knows exactly what she’s done, that she hadn’t meant to make such a mess of things. </p><p>Still, Alyssa doesn’t see that, doesn’t see that Dee Dee seems to have something else to say, seems to want to fix it. </p><p>All she knows is that she thought Emma was different. But, it turns out, everybody wants to leave.</p><p>
  <em> People leave Edgewater; they don’t come back. </em>
</p><p>She’s reminded herself such things so many times, always been the first to turn down any sort of new connection, even if it was just merely a friendship. Alyssa always told herself she couldn’t bear to feel like her mother did when her father left. </p><p>And then, Emma came along. And right or wrong, whether she liked it or not, there were too many feelings and not enough time, and she thought maybe things wouldn’t be like that, thought maybe hazel eyes meant the look they were giving her. </p><p>It was just a single date. It’s not like she has any right to be hung up. But Emma had said <em> I got you </em>, and Alyssa had listened. </p><p>Stupidly. </p><p>She’d allowed herself to get excited, to have a little hope. It’s almost comical how fast it backfired. </p><p>Her feet are carrying her before she knows where she’s going, and she’s pushing open the glass door of the diner even though some part of her is able to think of several reasons why she shouldn’t, why she should stand her ground. She always promised herself to never run, but--</p><p>She ends up in front of Trent’s playhouse. She doesn’t remember whipping around the corner, but soon, she’s in his arms, her face buried in his chest. He rocks her back and forth, asks her what’s wrong, but she just shakes her head. </p><p>If she knows anything, she knows Trent won’t leave. He promised-- granted, it was a promise that was made quite long ago-- but he hasn’t broken it yet. </p><p>That knowledge makes her feel safe enough to sink against him, to trust him enough to breathe in his comforting scent-- similar, yet so different to Barry’s-- and finally let tears fall from her eyes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so. what did you think? it'll get better! don't worry. in the meantime, voice your anger or any other thoughts you have in the comments/drop us a kudo to let us know you're along for the ride! it would make us smile. </p><p>as always, you can find all three of us in the prom discord and jess and ellis on tumblr @julietinchucks and @ifthebookdoesntsell.</p><p>thanks for reading. be safe x</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. and dreams just don't come true</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There’s commotion when Alyssa and Trent reach the corner to turn into the diner parking lot. </p><p><i>“I never asked you to come here!”</i> one voice exclaims angrily.</p><p><i>“Well, you never said ‘don’t,’”</i> another tries to argue.</p><p><i>“That’s not an excuse, and you know it,”</i> a third one, male, says. </p><p><i>“I just want to know why you hurt my baby girl!”</i> the last cuts in sharply. </p><p> Oh God. </p><p>Alyssa and Trent both tense at the anger in the final voice. They know that tone. </p><p>Bracing for impact, Alyssa leads the charge to come into view, and she comes face to face with exactly what she didn’t want. </p><p>It seems there’s a standoff in the parking lot between Emma, her mother, Barry, and Dee Dee. </p><p>(Or, things get cleared up, but that doesn't mean that it's all fixed.)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey y'all! hope your week is off to a good start. look at us go! an update in a timely fashion! we hope that you've enjoyed this fic as much as we've had creating the universe and writing it. this is the penultimate chapter, so buckle up. it's about to go real hard and real fast (yes, that means angst, but it will all be resolved!)</p><p>enjoy! </p><p>(title from i'd give it all for you by jrb)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alyssa spends time filling Trent in as she catches her breath, settling next to him in one of the faux-velvet front row seats. They talk for a while, Trent keeping her company more than anything as she tries to sort out her feelings.</p><p>“I hate to admit this, but Emma sounds a lot like me,” the man admits. She looks at him in surprise. Trent has always seemed so confident, so sure of himself. “After Juilliard, my dreams obviously didn’t go the way I wanted. I felt chained to a normal life without Lady Theater by my side, and when I met Barry, well, it felt like I would let him down if I didn’t end up succeeding.” </p><p>“But he loves you!” Alyssa exclaims. “He wouldn’t care if you were selling popcorn on the corner outside the movies!” </p><p>Trent’s lips twitch into a smile. “See, that’s exactly my point.” He gesticulates wildly. “Both you and Emma seem to have harrowed pasts, yes?” Alyssa nods. “There’s obviously a disconnect. Give her the benefit of the doubt, ‘Lys. You never know.” </p><p>“I guess I see why everyone says you’re such a good teacher, now,” she laughs.</p><p>“Barry told me he told you to give her a chance. Maybe she deserves a chance to explain, too, no?”</p><p>Alyssa smiles at him, a bit watery but more relieved. He squeezes her hand in his. “C’mon. Why don’t we head back?” </p><p>He stands up, taking her along with him before she can even protest. </p><p>***</p><p>There’s commotion when Alyssa and Trent reach the corner to turn into the diner parking lot. </p><p><em> “I never asked you to come here!” </em> one voice exclaims angrily.</p><p><em> “Well, you never said ‘don’t,’” </em>another tries to argue.</p><p><em> “That’s not an excuse, and you know it,” </em>a third one, male, says. </p><p><em> “I just want to know why you hurt my baby girl!” </em>the last cuts in sharply. </p><p>
  <em> Oh God.  </em>
</p><p>Alyssa and Trent both tense at the anger in the final voice. They know that tone. </p><p>Bracing for impact, Alyssa leads the charge to come into view, and she comes face to face with exactly what she didn’t want. </p><p>It seems there’s a standoff in the parking lot between Emma, her mother, Barry, and Dee Dee. </p><p>There is matching anger and disappointment on all faces, and Alyssa hears Trent sigh beside her as he strides over, taking up position next to his husband. Alyssa’s heart cracks open into the tiniest smile seeing the gesture. He clearly has no idea what side he’s on, but he’s taken up Barry’s anyway. </p><p>She observes for a few more moments. </p><p>“I told you I was just going to clear my head!” Emma says, hot in the face. She hasn’t noticed Alyssa yet. “I told you I really liked her! That wasn’t an invitation for you to go and tell her that I didn’t!” </p><p>“We have places to be,” the older woman argues. “You’re slated to take my place when I retire, Emma. I can’t have you settling down in some middle-of-nowhere town!” </p><p>“Just because I like her doesn’t mean that I’m leaving the club,” Emma answers, quieter and more understanding, suddenly aware of Dee Dee’s intent, of her fear. “You know I’d never leave you guys like that.” Older features soften, and Emma smiles at her, lips turning up slightly. “I wouldn’t give it all up. Not yet.” </p><p>That makes Alyssa’s stomach sink, and she feels guilty for it immediately, feels selfish. </p><p>
  <em> People leave Edgewater; they don’t come back.  </em>
</p><p>“You should explain to my daughter why you’re leading her on, then,” her mother pipes in. </p><p>Alyssa doesn't know whether to be grateful for Veronica Greene in this moment or angry. On one hand, she wants to hear what Emma has to say, wants to know why she got stood up--</p><p>Her heart stops when the girl turns around and their eyes meet. </p><p>
  <em> God, those eyes.  </em>
</p><p>Alyssa finds comfort in the hazel again, in the way they’re changing, though it seems indicative of Emma’s mood, of her feelings. She wills herself to stay calm, fire suddenly in her belly once more at the sight of the blonde so calm, so soft in her gaze when she looks at her. Emma has no right to look at her that way, to act as if she didn’t betray the gentle trust between them only a day after building it. </p><p>“We’ll make ourselves scarce,” Barry fills in quietly, gesturing for all of the adults to follow him. “Have some poundcake, Dee Dee,” he calls, enticing her to come inside. </p><p>A weight lifts off of Alyssa the moment the older woman heads in the direction of the entrance. Idly, she notices that Emma’s now holding the jacket she’d shoved into the club leader’s arms. </p><p>She tries not to think too hard about it, putting her hands in her pockets so she doesn’t have the urge to reach out for it, or Emma. </p><p>“Hey,” Emma starts. </p><p>“Don’t <em> hey </em> me, Nolan,” Alyssa manages to get out, looking away before she melts under the girl’s gaze. </p><p>“Woah,” Emma breathes. “Um. What did I do?” </p><p>Anger lights deep in Alyssa at the question. “What do you mean what did you do? You stood me up!”</p><p>Emma’s brow furrows. It would be endearing in any other situation-- she has a slight crinkle that’s adorable-- but Alyssa is far too upset. </p><p>“I rescheduled,” Emma corrects, confused. “I sent you a text explaining that I was feeling weird after the first one. I asked if you could meet up tomorrow morning before I was off.” </p><p>Alyssa sinks to the curb at the words, pulling her phone out. Pointing the screen to the other girl as she comes to sit down next to her, she shakes her head. </p><p>“No new messages.” </p><p>Emma’s eyes widen. She digs her own cell out of her pocket frantically. </p><p><em> “Fucking cell carrier,” </em>she grumbles, tapping Alyssa’s contact. There’s a red error bubble next to it. “Bastards never sent my fucking message!” She waves wildly, shoving her phone into the brunette’s hand. “See! There it is!”</p><p>Alyssa’s eyes scan the screen. There’s a five line message from Emma, outlining why she can’t make it and that she’s having some trouble with her feelings. It should be comforting that she wasn’t cancelled on for no reason, but it still makes Alyssa’s stomach sink. Emma’s having second thoughts, which makes <em> her </em>have second thoughts, well, even more than she was already having after tonight’s fiasco. </p><p>“I believe you,” she acquiesces, gesturing for the girl to take her phone back. “But you still said you’d be here when we talked this morning. You think I haven't been unsure about this? About us?”</p><p>Emma’s carefully crafted mask sinks slightly. “I know.” She reaches out, placing her hand lightly on Alyssa’s knee. “I know it took a lot for you to talk to me last night, and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel bad. I just needed to clear my head. Dee Dee made me all worried, and then--”</p><p>Alyssa holds up a hand, suddenly wanting the floor. She can’t let other people dictate how she feels anymore, can’t agree so easily this time. She likes Emma, and that means being honest with her, even if that risks hurting her feelings or even scaring her off. </p><p>If Emma is scared off easily, then she isn’t the one for her afterall. </p><p>“I told you about my dad.”</p><p>“I know.” </p><p>“I actually <em> told you </em> what was going on with me. I let you know. I was trying to communicate.” She tries not to let her voice quiver, but there’s a certain level of residual irritation. “I wish you’d have just called.”</p><p>“I’m sorry.” Emma means it. Alyssa knows that. It weighs on her heart. </p><p>
  <em> Give her the benefit of the doubt. </em>
</p><p>Trent’s voice rings in her ears. </p><p>“You stood me up.” She doesn’t know why she has to say it again. At this point, it’s rubbing salt in the wound, but it’s no use. Her mouth is still moving. “Whether you like it or not, you did. Telling somebody you can’t make it ten minutes before <em> is</em>, effectively, standing them up.” </p><p>“I’m really sorry,” Emma says again, quieter, more regretful. “I really am! I was just thinking too much. Like, I have this responsibility! Everybody with these jackets are my family.” She gestures to the one in her arms. “And Dee Dee is getting older, and Angie wants to settle down eventually! There’s a legacy, ‘Lys. I can’t just leave them.” She hesitates before she walks her hand up from where it was on Alyssa’s knee to place it over hers. Alyssa doesn’t pull back, her heart still craving the affectionate gesture. “But I want to make it up to you! I really like you. I want to have both.” </p><p>“Wanting isn’t enough,” Alyssa says quietly. “I believe you have feelings for me, Emma. But tonight has been a long night, and it’s not even fully dark yet. I don’t know if I can do this.” </p><p>Emma shakes her head in disbelief, intertwining their fingers and bringing her other hand around from where it was laying absently against the curb to turn Alyssa’s chin toward her gently. </p><p>“Don’t say that.” </p><p>Alyssa shrugs, watery and unsure. “You have to leave tomorrow.” She studies Emma’s gaze, finding that same earnestness from last night, from this morning, from every moment the girl has looked at her. “I don’t want you to hurt me again, even if you don’t mean to.”</p><p>“I won’t.” </p><p>They’re suddenly so close that their past hurt mingles, since it’s come to head because of their talk, their breath mixing between them. The familiar, more favorable tension between them has returned. There’s a promise to Emma’s words, a dangerous one, considering the fact that they have so little time left. Alyssa’s heart beats quick and rough in her ears.</p><p>“Emma,” she starts, soft, even as she doesn’t know what she’s going to finish the sentence with, but she’s cut off in a kiss. </p><p>She sinks into it against her better judgement, hand reaching up to tangle softly in curly blonde hair before she can stop herself. Emma gives a ghost of a smile as she cups Alyssa’s cheek and pulls back the slightest bit. </p><p>“Tell me to stay,” Emma murmurs, hope coloring her tone. </p><p>“You need to go,” Alyssa replies, not moving away, breath stuttering at how close they still are. “You said it yourself.” </p><p>“Tell me to stay.” </p><p>Alyssa’s heart cries for her to be selfish, to tell Emma that one little word, to force responsibility to the wind, to take one thing for herself. But Emma has people. And so does she. There’s not time for silly dreams where they don’t have to fulfill their obligations. </p><p>“What about Dee Dee?” she asks, saying the words aloud to convince herself as well that it would be a terrible idea to take Emma away from the people she loves most in the world. “What about Greg? Sheldon? Angie?”</p><p>“Tell me to stay,” Emma repeats, more desperately, surging forward for another kiss, this time holding Alyssa’s cheeks even more delicately than before. It makes Alyssa tremble, makes her stomach flip. </p><p>Emma presses her tongue into it, kisses Alyssa with an ardency, with a fervency, with an adoration that she’s never felt in her whole life. Alyssa reciprocates before she can think better of it, suddenly so close to being broken and put back together all at once. </p><p>“Tell me to stay.” It’s whispered into her mouth this time, a last chance. </p><p>Alyssa’s insides crack open slightly when she breathes, “I can’t. I can’t do that to you.” </p><p>Emma quivers against her, suddenly unsure of herself even as she presses their foreheads together, as if she’s trying to get one last proper look at Alyssa. Her eyes travel down from brown ones, over the slope of her nose, down to pretty pink lips. They keep going, down to Alyssa’s very toes, and, again, she feels so seen that it makes her ache. </p><p>Finally, Emma forces herself back, swallowing hard. She opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. </p><p>Instead, she unfolds her jacket that was haphazardly placed aside in their kisses and wraps it around Alyssa’s shoulders. She wipes her sweaty palms, brushing her lips against the girl’s forehead as she blatantly avoids eye contact, clearly attempting to keep herself intact at least until she’s out of sight. </p><p>“If you change your mind, you know where to message.” She stands up. “I’m sure your cell service is a lot better than mine.” Emma tries to keep her voice light, but there’s a slight timber in it. </p><p>Alyssa nods, unsure what to say. She’s not going to tell Emma to stay. That’s not her place nor her right. Still, she rises to her feet, too, brings them close once more. </p><p>“One for the road?” she asks, reaching up and hooking her arms around Emma’s neck for another kiss before she can think of all the reasons why she shouldn’t. </p><p>This is goodbye. </p><p>Emma won’t come by tomorrow morning; she has too much respect for that. She wouldn’t want to deepen the wound, and part of Alyssa is grateful for that. </p><p>The blonde nods, leaning down, breath shaky as she presses them together a final time. They don’t pull back for a long time, grasping tight as if they’re the only thing keeping the other together in this moment. </p><p>Alyssa supposes that, in a way, that’s true. </p><p>She pours every word she can’t say except <em> stay </em> into each kiss, punctuates all of her confessions with tongue and fire, scratches at the base of Emma’s scalp until she gasps quietly, finds comfort in the reaction, tucks it away for cold, hard nights where she can only wonder <em> what if. </em> </p><p>Forcing herself closer, Alyssa manages a smile when Emma’s hand skims under the leather she’s now wearing, running over the back of the hem of her t-shirt. For barely a second, the woman indulges herself, fingers tracing over the softest skin at the bottom of her spine, delighting in the slightest shiver that runs through them both before she tears herself away, eyes glimmering with barely concealed, arguably undeserved, heartbreak. </p><p>It’s only been a few days. </p><p>And yet, it’s somehow felt like no time and forever all at once, as if they’ve seen the end and beginning of the world together, as if they've seen the very edge of time in each other’s movements, in each other’s softness, in each other’s presence.</p><p>There’s a finality to this moment that’s fitting for a goodbye that’s not only meant for a single set of lovers but also a farewell to the opportunity of a romance quite like this with anybody else. Their attraction, their affair-- it is only fitting to call it such; it was an affair in which they both cheated on time, on their responsibilities, on every lesson they’d ever been taught about not growing attached-- moved at a whirlwind and a glacial pace; it was beautiful and raw and somehow so, so finite while also feeling wholly infinite in its possibility. </p><p>It is-- was-- the sort of love that there’s only one shot at, only one, perfect moment where it either is grasped tight by its possible recipients or it completely slips through their fingers before it can be caught and held close. </p><p>It wasn’t even described as love, not yet, but, somehow, the potential was more than enough. </p><p>Alyssa doesn’t remember saying goodbye. She doesn’t even remember fully letting go. Maybe that’s because part of her didn’t.</p><p>All she remembers is a final kiss to the forehead and watching the light of a motorcycle trail off into the distance. All she remembers is longing to be on that bike, to know what it is to touch the sky the way Emma had once told her about, to know what it is to be completed, to hold Emma tight and know that it’s forever. </p><p>All she remembers is tugging Emma’s jacket tighter around her, waving a soft farewell to Dee Dee, implicitly aware that she won’t see any of the rest of the bikers tomorrow, either. She shoots her the gentlest of smiles that communicates forgiveness; Alyssa has always been good at allowing herself to forgive. </p><p>She watches the woman breathe a sigh of relief, sees Barry let one out too, no longer feeling guilty about hugging his best friend goodbye. However angry he was just prior, it seems to have dissipated enough that he can make allowances enough to accept her apology. </p><p>Alyssa takes a deep breath as soon as the bike rumbles to life and leaves the parking lot, the woman on it calling farewell as far as she can until her voice is barely a whisper in the distance. </p><p>Watching Dee Dee drive off, the dream fully fades from Alyssa’s heart. Emma will go on. </p><p>And she will have to go on, too. </p><p>There aren’t even any tears left to cry. There’s only the business, only the thought that she now has to return to Earth, now has to pull her aspirations back down from the stars. </p><p>Barry and her mother check in on her, but she shrugs, giving them a closed mouth smile. </p><p>She voices what she’s always known to be the truth:</p><p>“People leave Edgewater; they don’t come back.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*grabs mic* hi. it's ellis. i'm... so sorry lmao. i feel like i need to explain that it's all going to be okay, and i know it's pretty sad right now for greenelan but never fear! i'm writing this fic out, and i can say without a doubt that there's going to be a happy ending so i/we hope that you stay to read that. for now, voice whatever you're feeling in the comments/drop us a kudo to let us know that you're sticking around! </p><p>as always, you have find all three of us in tpd and jess and i on tumblr @julietinchucks and @ifthebookdoesntsell. </p><p>be safe x</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. i gave it all for you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alyssa goes to sleep that night still reeling from the day’s events, grappling with the fact that Emma’s really gone, that the whole club is, too. </p><p>It’d become part of her morning ritual to serve bottomless coffee when her mom wasn’t looking, to sneak some bacon from Sheldon’s plate when he’d surreptitiously offer, to set out the best booth for the group. She’d even grown accustomed to Greg’s consistent obliviousness that almost always resulted in him being kicked under the table. </p><p>She settles against her pillow, reliving the past week in as much detail as she can, recalling how she laid exactly where she is just a few days prior and spoke to Emma from dusk till dawn, how Barry got her ready for one of the best nights of her life, how she kissed Emma outside her apartment. The girl’s jacket is hung on the chair beside her bed once more, <i>Nolan</i> ever present as she stares at it in her final moments before drifting off. </p><p>As it turns out, she can’t even escape Emma in her dreams.</p><p>(Or, Alyssa can't stop missing Emma, but the story's not over quite yet.)</p><p>(Or, the happy ending that was promised.)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey y'all! it's ellis. we finally made it. the final chapter. thank you so much to everybody who's stuck with us, or if you've just stumbled onto this fic since it's been marked complete, thank you for reading now! this has honestly been so fun to write, and it's awesome that people have been enjoying it. this fic has literally become my baby. i'm sure i can speak for lyf and jess when i say that it's been real, folks. </p><p>anyway, let's get to it! as always, hope you enjoy. </p><p>(title from jrb's i'd give it all for you.)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alyssa goes to sleep that night still reeling from the day’s events, grappling with the fact that Emma’s really gone, that the whole club is, too. </p><p>It’d become part of her morning ritual to serve bottomless coffee when her mom wasn’t looking, to sneak some bacon from Sheldon’s plate when he’d surreptitiously offer, to set out the best booth for the group. She’d even grown accustomed to Greg’s consistent obliviousness that almost always resulted in him being kicked under the table. </p><p>She settles against her pillow, reliving the past week in as much detail as she can, recalling how she laid exactly where she is just a few days prior and spoke to Emma from dusk till dawn, how Barry got her ready for one of the best nights of her life, how she kissed Emma outside her apartment. The girl’s jacket is hung on the chair beside her bed once more, <em> Nolan </em> ever present as she stares at it in her final moments before drifting off. </p><p>As it turns out, she can’t even escape Emma in her dreams. Her slumber is filled with Emma’s face, with her smile, with <em> those damn eyes </em> again. She can’t remember what they spoke of in her lucid moments, but when she awakens, she gets ready and pulls Emma’s jacket on without another thought, swinging out the door with as much pep as she can muster considering the fact that her heart is already cracked and missing the blonde. </p><p>She tucks her nose into the lapel for a moment, the scent of freedom, adoration, and pine too, hitting her nose as she enters the diner, putting on a brave face. </p><p>Barry and her mother look on in concern-- even Trent has stuck around-- trying to see how she’s feeling, but she does her best to ignore it, swapping out her bag for the menus as she always does and scampering to the back of the restaurant before they can see her expression fall slightly. </p><p>Her eye spies something taped onto one of the corners, and when she pulls it out, her heart lodges in her throat. It’s only a simple sketch, but the eyes are just right, and Alyssa feels as though she’s somehow staring back at herself broken down to her best and most significant parts. </p><p>She knows who drew it. </p><p>She knows who left it on purpose. </p><p>It’s simple, done with one of the blue pens from the register. She pulls it off the corner carefully, stuffing it inside the jacket pocket, taking in a breath before continuing to sort the menus, keeping her back turned to the adults. </p><p>She’s <em> fine. </em></p><p>They need to stop treating her like she’s not. She’ll get over it in a few days; she’ll move on. She’s always been good at moving on, and the longer they drag out this feeling, this notion that it’s okay to be the slightest bit heartbroken, the more she knows she’ll start to believe it too. </p><p>That’s the last thing she needs. </p><p>Emma is gone. She left Edgewater. She isn’t coming back.</p><p>***</p><p>The majority of Alyssa’s morning shift passes without event. </p><p>There is a noticeable absence around seven-thirty when there’s no rumble of bikes outside, no chatter, no impromptu tap dance from Barry as Dee Dee enters, no <em> Emma, </em> but she keeps quiet about it and doesn’t let it get in her way too much. Around eight, she does go to fill up a coffee pot before she remembers she doesn’t need to do that anymore and puts it down, surveying the much more boring and regular breakfast crowd. </p><p>She swallows the tiniest bit of regret. Part of her wonders if the bikers are still in town, if she could text Emma that she changed her mind-- </p><p>
  <em> No.  </em>
</p><p>She reminds herself that Emma has responsibilities, reminds <em> herself </em> that she has her own. </p><p>So even as she misses her, even as she grows accustomed to not asking her mother for a second plate of pancakes for Greg as soon as he’s downed the first, she barrels ahead, puts her blinders on. </p><p>
  <em> Heartbreak is for suckers.  </em>
</p><p>***</p><p>Just before lunchtime, Alyssa goes on break, pulling the drawing from her pocket as soon as she’s in the office and out of sight. She notices how perfect and wild Emma drew her hair, runs her fingers over the lines of pen, imagining hazel eyes studying her from across the restaurant every chance they got, carefully carving out every feature. </p><p>She blushes just thinking about it. </p><p>All week, she’d felt eyes on her, but she’d assumed it was one of the usual customers who was burning holes into the back of her head as if trying to communicate that they wanted more coffee, not Emma, not <em> Emma </em> who clearly had stuck this slip of paper so carefully between the menus as she was leaving in hopes that Alyssa would find it. </p><p>It’s clearly from a sketchbook of some kind, and suddenly, she’s able to recollect the way there were always smudge marks on the side of Emma’s left palm, though she’d never thought much of it. She remembers seeing the girl hunched over sometimes at the booth, Greg or Sheldon ribbing her for whatever she was up to, but Alyssa had always thought Emma was drawing a new bike, or making notes for their trip, or-- </p><p>Her heart is in her throat before she can shove it back down into her chest. </p><p>All that time, Emma had been looking at her, studying her; she can almost see the earnestness in hazel irises. She feels guilty, suddenly, that she never noticed, though she’s aware that perhaps she’d been so busy staring back at Emma that she didn’t think to check if the girl was looking at her with equal intensity. </p><p>Tears start to well at the corners of her eyes. There’s still so much she doesn’t know about Emma, so much she wishes she had asked about. </p><p>She didn’t even know Emma liked to draw, not like this. She wonders if Emma has sketches from everywhere she’s gone, if she could learn more about her from her pen strokes, if Emma told her to buy new pens that first time they spoke because she’s snapped a fair few between her teeth staring at pretty girls. </p><p>She almost laughs at the thought, but the moment is dulled slightly because they’ll never be able to share those stories, because one day, they’ll get over each other and they’ll be memories, stuffed into a satchel Emma throws over her shoulder on her next interstate road trip or folded into a shoebox to be placed under Alyssa’s bed. </p><p>Alyssa sighs, face hot as her throat grows salty. She shakes herself out of it. She has a few moments left on her break, and for just these seconds, she allows herself to fantasize, allows herself to wonder what Emma’s doing and make believe that the girl is thinking of her, too. She gets lost in the thought of Emma’s quiet but perfect voice, in the memories of the kisses they shared. </p><p>She replays the past few days again and again, going over everything she can remember, tucking away the softest of moments that had fallen through the cracks during her first moments of reminiscence last night, finding slight peace from the way her heart has cracked in two in the echoes of her and Emma’s giggles in the bed of her pickup.</p><p>The corners of her lips turn up when she flips all the way back to the first time Emma walked into the diner, to Shelby dubbing Emma <em> Hot Pants </em> and then, <em> Alyssa’s Dream Girl. </em> Alyssa smiles softly, solemnly, to herself slightly at that, making the mental note to tell her friend that she’d been right--</p><p>Alyssa jumps when she’s tugged from her thoughts immediately when the alarm on her phone indicating the end of her break rings loud and clear. </p><p>Sighing, she pulls out the device, clicks it off before she tucks it, and Emma’s drawing of her, back inside her pocket. She wipes her eyes carefully, taking one deep breath before she schools her expression and heads back out onto the floor to work. </p><p>Looking around, it’s just the usual crowd. She finds comfort in it.</p><p>It’s just like any other day, once more. </p><p>***</p><p>Around half-past one, the diner is empty once more. There’s a few stragglers with extra cups of coffee, but soon, even they depart, waving goodbye with smiles on their faces. </p><p>Alyssa bids them farewell, settling on the counter as she always does at this time to work through some problems in her textbook. </p><p>She barely looks up when the bell rings. “Welcome to Andrew’s! I’ll be with you in a moment--”</p><p>“Y’know, you should really change it to <em> Alyssa’s--” </em></p><p>Alyssa snaps her head up so quickly that she feels the wind move beside her head. She knows that voice, knows that lilt-- </p><p>Her eyes widen when they fix on the person standing in the doorway, all tight jeans and wringing hands and wild, curly blonde hair-- </p><p>
  <em> “Emma?!”  </em>
</p><p>Emma grins at her, sweet and earnest, hands shoved into her pockets as she takes a tentative step forward. </p><p>“Hi,” she says, unsure, nerves seeping into her tone. </p><p>Alyssa practically hops over the counter as soon as her body catches up to her brain, scrambling closer to Emma, grabbing her face in her hands as if to make sure that this isn’t a fantasy, isn’t a dream. </p><p>“What are you doing here?!” Alyssa’s voice quivers, somehow both the volume of an exclamation and a whisper. “I thought you were rolling out today!”</p><p>“Well, I didn’t,” Emma laughs out softly, leaning into Alyssa’s touch, eyes closing softly at the comfort of it when a thumb rubs over her cheek. </p><p>“But the festival--” Alyssa starts to say. </p><p>“There will be so many other festivals,” Emma interrupts, breathless.</p><p>“But Dee Dee--”</p><p>“Never mind about Dee Dee,” she cuts in. “You’re more important than what I thought I had to do! There’s a chance for recruitment here, to build a new chapter of the club from the surrounding towns, and they were discussing leaving somebody behind, and then I thought it would be the perfect excuse for me to--”</p><p>Emma stops herself short of finishing, looks down at Alyssa with an honesty, with a yearning, and so quickly, Alyssa’s heart dances in her chest, climbs up and down her ribs until she’s breathless. </p><p>“To what?” Alyssa asks. </p><p>“To stay,” Emma finishes, blushing. “If you’ll have me.”</p><p>Alyssa’s throat clogs with several emotions she doesn’t know how to name, with a few she isn’t ready to, not yet. </p><p>“You want to stay?” She hasn’t let go of Emma’s face. </p><p>“Of course I do,” Emma answers, a soft smile on her lips. </p><p>“But I didn’t ask you to,” Alyssa manages, disbelieving. </p><p>The girl shrugs, closing the remaining space between them until they’re nose to nose, her hands locked together, resting on the small of Alyssa’s back.</p><p>“You didn’t have to.”</p><p>Alyssa almost sobs at that, suddenly overcome with this newness of what it means for somebody to stay even though she never begged them to, what it means to have somebody know her like this, to <em> see </em> and <em> understand </em> without words. She hadn’t asked Emma to stay. It wasn’t her place, and yet-- </p><p>“You gave it up… for me?” she murmurs, feeling slightly selfish. She wants to hear Emma say it, wants to hear those words. </p><p>“I did,” Emma confirms, quiet, solemn, truthful. She brushes some hair out of Alyssa’s eyes, swipes away her tears before they can even fall. “And I would do it again. I would give it all for you, Alyssa. Don’t you know that?” She inches closer. “All of it. You’re so worth it. I’m so crazy about you and--”</p><p>Alyssa kisses her. She can’t fathom not. She kisses her, and this time she says <em> stay; </em> this time, she asks <em> forever?  </em></p><p>And this time, Emma says <em> yes. </em></p><p>This time, Emma picks her up around the waist, spins her around until she’s giggling, until she can’t catch a breath, until she’s drowning in everything that is Emma Nolan, kissing her in the diner that bears the name of the last person who really broke her heart, kissing her until she’s been stripped of all that pain and put back together anew. </p><p>This time, when she’s crying, it’s because she’s never known what it is to be <em> this happy, </em> because she’s never felt so complete as now. </p><p>Emma holds her tight, and Alyssa feels real, feels <em> known. </em> </p><p>She tucks herself against Emma’s neck, breathing in her scent, hands wandering beneath her leather jacket to press against the warmth of a strong back over soft flannel. </p><p>She quivers, trembles, breaks slightly. </p><p>Emma holds her together better than anybody ever has, better than she was ever able to on her own. Her heart races in her chest, beats in time with the one right beside hers. </p><p>She squeezes tight around Emma’s middle, noses over her pulse, finds comfort in its consistency. </p><p>“Don’t ever go,” she mumbles, shy, trying not to regret the words as soon as she’s said them, but unable to stop. “Don’t ever leave me.” </p><p>Alyssa’s shocked when Emma hugs her tighter too, presses a kiss to the top of her head and murmurs, “I won’t. I promise.”</p><p>She’s shocked by just how much she believes those words to be true.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so. there you have it. did you like the ending? if you did, consider dropping us a comment/kudo down below. it would mean so much! </p><p>as a bit of bonus content, i'm going to drop you some highlights from the notes that were left at the bottom of the chapters after lyf and jess did read throughs. take it as an informal summary of our writing process lmao. </p><p>"I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS<br/>WHY<br/>HHHNNNGNGNGGGBHGBHBHHGFDGBG<br/>I<br/>MY HEART<br/>RHOSE FUCKIN FUNKY ASS GAYS AND THEIR FIRST DATES<br/>BRING OUT THE U HAUL LADS<br/>TWENTY FIVE dollars Emma is clearly a Bad Maths GayTM<br/>"Im gay and emma hot" -Alyssa<br/>"Alyssa horny on main" -Barry Glickman<br/>“Homosexuals in town wee woo”<br/>“I’m gay” “Hi gay, I’m Zazz” "</p><p>anyway. i hope that made you smile. we certainly had a lot of fun writing this, and i can say without a doubt that i've found two awesome friends doing this. </p><p>as always, you can experience this chaos firsthand if you want to and find the three of us in tpd as well as jess and i on tumblr @julietinchucks and @ifthebookdoesntsell. </p><p>be safe out there x</p>
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